10 Things That Happen When You Finally Meet A Great Guy After Being With A Toxic One


1. At first, we expect the worst.

After a toxic relationship, you don’t trust anyone . Even yourself. You wonder how you put up with such a relationship for so long. And you go into every relationship expecting the worst from someone. For a while, you don’t believe good guys exist. Because for so long you looked for the bad qualities and you accepted a lot of these people who didn’t deserve you.

2. And we think too much about everything.

You think everyone has intentions or don’t mean what they say. When you’ve caught someone lying so often that it makes you feel completely paranoid. You don’t think people can be honest or mean what they say. You make crazy guesses and doubt really good people just because of one person.

Then you explain to this guy how you came to that conclusion in your head and he’s baffled. Not because you questioned him, but because someone made you like this and all they want is to turn it around.

3. You think it’s too good to be true.

Someone who treats you well must be too good to be true. You expect him to show his other day. You expect to lose it someday. You expect an abrupt end without a conclusion. But every day he proves to you that he’s the same person from the start. He gave you no reason to question him, but it’s not him you don’t trust, it’s everyone from the past.

4. Then you push him away.

Someone in the past made you believe that you don’t deserve the best. So when you get it, you reject it. You fear something good because you don’t want to lose it. You don’t want to hurt yourself again, so you try to mess it up first. But what’s different about this guy is that when you run away, he chases you. When you push him away, he hugs you closely and won’t let you go.

5. You expect arguments.

You’re still waiting for an argument. But instead, everything is discussed and explained. And there’s that wave of reassurance afterwards and you realize normal people don’t go the second something isn’t right.

6. Then you apologize too often.

He will wonder why you apologize so often or why you apologize. He will see the pain in your eyes because someone from the past made you wonder. He will see the pain in your heart trying so hard to love again when you have only known heartache. And he will constantly reassure you that everything is fine.

When a good guy loves someone who is broken and who has only experienced toxic relationships, what he teaches her is that she deserved nothing that she got. He redefines those horrible standards that she has and he chooses to be the exception.

7. And ask yourself if it wouldn’t be better without you.

You think he would be better off without you, but the truth is, just like he made your life better, it goes both ways. And I know you’re afraid to love again. I know you’re afraid to let someone so close. But your sensitivity. Your compassion. Your strength, understanding and lack of judgment in everyone is what makes you beautiful.

In the past, you were able to love someone who was completely unbearable and intolerable. You have found the good in them. You tried your luck with them. You never gave up. And it’s your turn to have this reciprocity.

This new relationship isn’t what you’re used to, but it’s exactly what you deserve.

8. You compensate too much.

And when you’re finally comfortable and accepting that relationship, you’re going to love that person with all that you have in you. But don’t try too hard. Don’t think you have to do it. In the past, you have been taught that the best is not good enough. So you must have tried too hard. You had to be in competition. You had to prove yourself.

What you should have learned is that your best was good enough and it was he who didn’t deserve it.

9. Then you trust him.

There will be a time when you tell her everything that happened. A moment when you trust him to leave him so close. And when you tell him about the past and the people who hurt you, you find out he’s not going to go away. It gives him a reason to stay.

I know someone in your past taught you hard love. You’ve been taught that vulnerability is weakness. You must have been strong for so long and you had to endure a lot of things you didn’t deserve. But it all made you more beautiful than you think. And all of this will make the right person like you for getting over it all.

And with tears in your eyes, even  you will be grateful for this toxic relationship that didn’t destroy you , but made you the strong person you are today.

10. Finally, you learn what love really is

You begin to realize that the relationship that defined your criteria for love was so far removed from reality. You learn that love isn’t meant to hurt or bring you down. Love isn’t meant to break your heart just to rebuild you. Love is not something that comes in the form of jealousy. Whether it’s making you jealous or being jealous of you. The right kind of love doesn’t play with your heart or want to see you in pain.

You realize that it was all not love but control.

You rebuild yourself and love fearlessly again, but this time you’re doing it right.

The right kind of love heals you and that’s exactly what it did.