15 questions to really get to know someone and deepen the relationship

3 important principles to improve and get more depth in communication

So the question is how to avoid small talk and lead to more constructive conversations. Later in the article, you will find 15 questions to get to know someone better, but first you need to understand 3 really important principles to improve communication.

  1. Welcome the silence:  We are uncomfortable when we experience silence. Even if we are really listening and engaged in conversation, we feel the need to avoid silence at all costs. However, silence makes us panic and fills the void with empty words. Instead of viewing silence as a bad thing, let it linger and let the conversation flow naturally.
  2. Don’t assume:  When we listen to people, we form preconceived conclusions in our heads. We use our past experiences and stereotypes to better understand things. Don’t let your own brain’s judgment cloud reality.
  3. Stop thinking about what you’re going to say next:  we hate silence, so most of us plan what we’re going to say when someone stops talking. But that forces us not to really listen to what someone is saying.

Hearing is one thing, but knowing how to listen is quite another thing which requires that we give our time to understand the words of another. Yet it is the very basis of communication that too often we neglect.

15 questions to get to know a person better and deepen a new relationship

Now that we’ve learned these 3 important principles for improving communication  with someone, here are 15 questions to really get to know someone.

1. What is your story?

This is a great starting question that can inspire a meaningful answer. Some people will have an immediate and impressive answer to this question that can lead you down many paths.

2. What are you passionate about?

One of the fastest ways to talk about something interesting is to discuss our passions. The person who responds will usually be excited and you can see them unleashing their true energy. If you share the same passion, you’re well on your way to starting an in-depth conversation.

3. How would you describe yourself?

This question may seem like nothing special, but its ambiguous nature will reveal a lot about their personality. It can give you insight into what’s important to them, and by digging a little deeper, you can get them talking about what they really want to talk about.

4. If I really knew you, what would I know about you?

An open-ended question allows the person to go as far as they want. This can lead to sincere and probing questions, so be prepared to listen and understand who this person really is.

4. What is your dream job?

A question that will reveal a lot about a person’s personality and ambitions. Whatever their answer, it will reveal what they desire for the future and whether they have already thought about it or not.

6. What makes you more fulfilled in your life right now?

This is a great question that gets people thinking about what really makes them happy. A great positive energy booster for any conversation. People open up about things that make them feel good, which can lead to deep conversations.

7. What is your greatest achievement?

It will give you critical insight into a person’s past and allow them to talk about something that is meaningful to them. Again, this is a great way to get someone to open up and speak passionately about themselves.

8. Who is your personal hero?

This question says a lot about a person. Some will describe a family member, others an athlete or a popular culture celebrity. You will learn a lot about their values. Usually they mention traits or characteristics that they aspire to have in themselves.

9. Have you read any good books?

This is another great way to find out what interests and excites someone. Some people will be honest and say they don’t read. But if they take the time to search for an answer, it could mean they’re trying to impress you.

10. What is your story that you don’t tell often enough?

It can really get someone talking if they have a story to tell. People like to be listened to, so keep your ears open and this question will break the ice.

” Listen. The effectiveness of the exchange depends more on your listening than on your words”.

–Bertrand Reynaud

11. What is your ultimate goal in life?

This is another ambiguous question that will reveal a lot about their priorities in life. Do they mention a selfish goal? Or do they have a life mission that involves other people and is bigger than themselves? They will speak with such passion that they will begin to reveal who they really are.

12. What are you most afraid of?

This question can take a dark turn, so be careful. But everyone is afraid of something, so it can really move the conversation forward. This can create empathy and reassurance, two essential characteristics of deep conversation.

13. What is the best approach to resolve a conflict?

An interesting question that will reveal a lot about how they approach difficult situations. Are they a straightforward kind of person? Do they believe honesty is important? Do they believe in peacekeeping and positive problem solving? Based on their response, you’ll begin to see if this is the type of person you really want to hang out with.

14. What’s the best way to earn someone’s respect?

A very revealing question that explains what they actually value in themselves and others. Do they admire kindness ? Or do they give their respect to ambition and social status? There are lots of different ways to answer this question, so explore them further and ask them why this is their number one indicator of respect.

15. Which is more important: what you say or how you say it?

A good question to see if this is the kind of person you could develop a meaningful relationship with. Why? Because you will know if they value appearance and beauty above the practical results of actions.

In conclusion:  Whether it is to create friendships or for a possible romantic relationship . These are all great questions to ask, but keep in mind that they require investigation to get the real answer. Once you’re able to get them to talk, these questions will let you know if they’re really someone you’d like to spend more time with. Also, remember that they will probably ask you the same questions, so make sure you have answers ready that will impress them!


Source : https://hackspirit.com/