Are you also afraid of ending up single all your life because of your shyness? This fear I had for many years. Many years when shyness ruined my life. Especially my love life.
Being single is often not easy, especially when it’s been going on for too long and in the evening you have friends around you who are in a relationship and who have children. You are under some social pressure. The worst being the pressure you put on yourself. But being single AND shy adds extra pressure. Because this shyness can really be an “obstacle” in your love life. And you are depressed. While your friends build sandcastles by the sea with their children.
In addition, shyness isolates. But this isolation seems even more marked when we speak of love or couple. Because this feeling can bring about big changes in your life: Children, family life, marriage, home…
Not to mention sexuality. Indeed, we see s*x everywhere, we hear sex everywhere, we often talk about sex. But you, as shy, when you haven’t done anything for years, or even that you’ve never done, the pressure you’re under is enormous.
The reason for all this: You don’t dare. You don’t dare go to this man or this woman, in particular because of the fear of rejection by the other, of their judgement, of the gaze of others, of their friends, yours or even that of your family… This fear often leads to a lack of self-confidence which leads to demotivation and inaction. And when you are inactive, your self-esteem is affected. And without esteem, finding love is an obstacle course.
But thanks to these 3 keys that I am going to share with you, it is very likely that your love life will change quickly:
– Choose ONE goal: If you’re reading me, it’s because your shyness seems to be an obstacle to your happiness. But in this case, wouldn’t it be better for you to first work on your shyness before finding love? Or if you decide to find love as a priority, your shyness should no longer be an obstacle for that. In particular by fully assuming it and being happy with it.
Because wanting to overcome your shyness AND find love are two very important goals in life and that requires a lot of energy. And it will be difficult for you to be as energetic, present and motivated for two major goals like these. You can’t do everything.
But in my opinion, I would advise you, if your shyness makes you unhappy to work on it first, to give yourself all the means to overcome it. Thus, your future husband or future wife will be fully happy to marry a truly fulfilled person like you.
Nobody wants to be in a relationship with an unhappy person.
– Go out in “strategic” places : As a shy person, you know that to find love, one of the solutions is to go out to meet new people. But the question you ask yourself is: Where? In fact, only you have the answers because only you know the type of person you are looking for. If you don’t know yet, you know what to do after reading my article.
“Going out to go out” is useless or “doing activities to do activities” either. If you finally decide to meet new people, choose the places and activities according to the type of people you are looking for. For example, if you are looking for a more athletic man, it would be better to enroll in a gym rather than in a painting class. If you prefer outgoing women, maybe in acting class. These are examples but it’s up to you to adapt your outings and activities according to your research. In summary, adapt your outings and your activities according to the type of people you are looking for.
– Use your strengths: Adapting your outings and your activities according to your research is good. But if you can also mix them to your strengths, that’s even better. Indeed, you must also take into account your strengths. For example, if you like sports people and you run every 36th of the month, it is likely that this will not work.
Thus, draw up your strong points, ie the sports and/or activities where you have a certain “level”. But especially where you feel a lot of pleasure. One does not go without the other.
Why does it work?
– Doing something where you have a good level will be more “selling”. Yes, seducing is also a bit like selling yourself. If you take salsa lessons and dance like Mister Bean, not sure that love will come quickly. Though…
– Doing something you enjoy attracts. Because, yes, people are attracted to happy people.
So for example: If you love nature and are looking for a sporty person, hiking could be a good activity to meet someone who suits you.