We are all unique and different, but when it comes to enjoying an emotionally healthy environment and relationships, it is important to distinguish between those who hurt us for free. They can be of different types.
Today we’re going to give you 7 rules for communicating with a manipulator , that person with the ability to make you feel guilty and lie or manipulate you to build relationship.
The way a manipulator acts can lead you to do what he / she wants and see nothing, thus becoming victims of your own life.
This type of relationship sometimes lasts for years. You can avoid them with these tips and safety rules created by communication strategy expert Preston Ni.
Keep distance with him / her
As long as you communicate with a manipulator, they will continually want to change masks, which may be overly courteous or, conversely, harsh and aggressive.
These people can also adopt an attitude of victim and insecurity. If you notice that someone around you shows a character that reflects extremes, we recommend that you maintain a distance and be careful when talking to them.
The manipulative personality probably comes from childhood. It is not your problem, nor for you to solve it or to educate it to correct its behavior.
Do not run
An important characteristic of a manipulator is to get you to respond and react on the fact, to a specific situation. By giving you little reaction time, he can manipulate you easily.
When you feel under pressure, we invite you to breathe and not to rush into a decision.
Saying “I’ll think about it” allows you to stay in control, in addition to gaining respect for yourself by setting your own limits for the person you are chatting with.
Test it out
Ask him a few questions to test him to verify that this person has a minimum of self-criticism and / or embarrassment, characteristics that a manipulative person does not retain:
- Do you think what you’re asking me is right?
- Do you think this is fair to me?
- Can I have my own opinion on this?
- Are you asking me the question or are you affirming it?
- What do I have in return?
- Do you really think that I …
Learn to say “no”
Knowing how to say “no” allows you to set your limits and respect yourself, by inviting those around you to do the same.
A clear “no” at the right time will allow you to maintain a good relationship with your interlocutor. Remember that you have the right and deserve to choose your own path to happiness.
Remember your inalienable rights
You have the right :
- To be respected by others
- Express your emotions, opinions and desires
- Establish your priorities
- To say “no” without feeling guilty
- To receive what you paid for
- Express your views , although they are different from those of others
- Protect you against physical, moral and emotional threats
- To build your life in accordance with your vision of happiness
It is desirable to always remember your limits of living space, since a manipulator does not respect your rights and constantly violates your limits. Remember, you are the one in charge of your life.
Share with him / her the possible consequences
Faced with a situation where your person feels attacked, both verbally and emotionally, inform the manipulator of the consequences of his actions.
The ability to speak up and convincingly present possible outcomes is one of the most effective methods of communicating with a manipulator.
You are thus forcing him to change his attitude towards you by revealing his plan and thus depriving him of power.
Respond to his mockery
Sometimes a manipulator seeks to scare their victim and hurt them through teasing and insulting you.
It is then good that in these cases you remember that he is attacking what he thinks is a weakness in you. Nothing more. If you stay passive and get into the game, he / she will continue to take advantage of you.
As soon as you face them and stand up for yourself, these cowardly people will start to stop.
Much research shows that these types of personalities have been abused in childhood or during their teenage years.
This does not justify their actions, but it is important to remember it when responding to their actions fully and healthily.