Is it a challenge for you to be a happy person in love? Do you ever relive the same disappointing scenarios?
It is a pleasure to offer you 7 solutions to help you experience this much desired happiness. It is so legitimate to want to succeed in being a good couple or to want a relationship that fulfills you. But how to do it ?
As a speaker, trainer, author in health, emotional relationships, happiness, well-being at work and self-realization for 25 years, I enjoy sharing the tools learned with you. We all dream of happiness, of flourishing, but deep wounds often prevent this ideal.
What is really encouraging is that by adding new resources, by getting help if needed, we can get there and I speak to you from experience. I’ve been there before. I understand you.
Here are these 7 secrets so important to be well in love.
1. Does one of the two denigrate the other or both do it?
I often see people not daring to take their place, being afraid of displeasing and accepting being belittled.
For others, the need to control, to prey on the other becomes almost compulsive. It is impossible in my opinion to be able to create a climate of trust, joy, well-being and love in such a relational dynamic. If the ego takes over and absolutely wants to be right, we get lost. Love is not a power game, it is a respectful and caring evolution. Same thing if the fear of rejection, the feeling of abandonment are there. It’s like the little girl or the little boy in himself who plays out his childhood insecurities.
These reactions are like codes in the depths of the unconscious and always reproduce the same results, such as unease, sadness, disappointment, for example.
These are programs that have been running muted since a very young age. These perceptions are like beliefs, attitudes frozen in time and which continue to manifest themselves in adulthood.
If, as a child, you lacked love or perceived situations as being disappointing in this sense, this feeling of lack is likely to be repeated and you can even attract it without wanting to. Kind of like this programming is taped and that’s what tends to show up too often.
As an adult, the belief related to this lack may be “I don’t deserve to be loved. “What will happen then? You risk unconsciously attracting people unable to love you, believing you to be an undeserving person.
So going back to the bashing, it has its roots in those childhood patterns that have crystallized over the years. They are comparable to masks, to survival mechanisms. They are no longer useful because they destroy happiness and healthy communication. They invite us to transform them to feel free within. When we learn to hear their messages, we emerge taking back our personal power with pride and joy.
NLP (neurolinguistic programming) is also very powerful in bringing new resources to the unconscious and can create both new happy and fast results in your life. I myself have unraveled so many things with this approach.
It was so conclusive for all that I was going through such as anxiety, malaise, etc., that I then took my NLP Master Practitioner training to help as many people as possible.
It allows you to put an end to old structures of thought, limiting beliefs and create a life that finally resembles us. We have the right to be disloyal to our past and to allow ourselves to live in harmony, with joy and with love.
I see it regularly in private coaching how impressive the transformations are in just one hour. We stay in the present and reframe perceptions and it’s fun. Who said you had to cry to get better…
Stop denigrating yourself, denigrating the other, it finally allows you to move forward more freely when you decide that life will be more beautiful this way. It’s putting an end to programming that brings gloom and using this time to create love and happiness.
2. Love of oneself and of the other
To succeed in your relationship, it is important to have good self-esteem, respect and love for you. Avoid any guilt if you feel like it’s not quite right now.
The good news is that there are so many possible resources these days to emerge wonderfully. If you lack self-love and self-respect, you run the risk of letting yourself be belittled, of forgetting yourself, of being sad, of lacking energy in particular.
It’s not very motivating to feel small, to not see yourself up to par, to keep such thoughts to yourself. There is a diamond that shines within you. It is important to polish it with gentleness, kindness and love.
Of course, such limitations are a game of perception. Beliefs about oneself, the ego, limiting thought structures, difficult emotions, are like characters who live in us and who don’t pay their rent lolll and who we host all the same.
Have fun thanking them for protecting you in their own way, dare to observe them, and apply yourself to finding real happy solutions and give them a permanent goodbye.
By offering yourself full of benevolence, gentleness, love as you would for a little baby, your children, you transform many things. Your radiance also changes. You favor the fact of having at your side, a person who has this same radiance in your life.
If you are single, you are preparing yourself for happiness. If you’re in a relationship, it’s important that both speak the same language in terms of healthy communication, that both actually love each other. If not, is it attachment, the fear of being alone?
Ask yourself how happy you are in your relationship? It’s a good way to assess your relationship.
3. Listening and healthy communication
Does everyone really feel listened to within the relationship? Some hear the other’s point of view and are already preparing an answer, an argument. Is it constructive? Is this good communication? Not really, no.
It is still the unconscious mechanisms of the ego that may want to dominate. Listening demonstrates interest in the reality of the other, for their emotions, their history, their joys, their sorrows, their challenges. When the two go in this direction gently and with respect, it creates such a bond and a great well-being.
Still unconsciously, many are looking for someone who looks like their father or mother as a life partner. It’s not an absolute, but it is common. It’s basically their model of love, healthy or not. So, when we talk about self-responsibility, of course we cannot change the past. You cannot change others. Nor do we have the right to entrust anyone with a mandate to make us happy.
To be a happy person in love, it is essential to go and see what is happening within yourself. We are the common denominator of everything we live. If there are feelings of betrayal, injustice, humiliation, rejection or abandonment, the other does not have to pay the price. We note that relationships are the best ground for bringing out these five feelings that are detrimental to happiness. It is a valuable asset to learn to recognize them. We can then use the life scenarios to become the best version of ourselves, see what it makes emerge in ourselves, what reacted, and get help if necessary.
5. Sexual complicity
How is the relationship with your body? Do you enjoy making love or not? Are you cut off from your emotions, your feelings? Are you able to communicate your needs, your resistances, to welcome them together?
If one of the two needs to make love regularly and the other runs away, finds reasons not to do so, things are likely to get out of hand over time. We cannot deny this healthy desire and source of self-expression, this form of demonstration of love, of tenderness.
Here too, it takes help if necessary to better understand oneself when such blockages can be there. A romantic welcome to this precious space is one of life’s great joys. Allowing yourself to access it and rediscover yourself is already a step further.
6. Joy of life and laughter
Nothing more boring than a monotonous relationship. What do you do over the days to become a person who creates joy, laughter, well-being?
No need to wait for the other to make us happy. It does not work. We learn to increase well-being in ourselves, the other does the same and we share this radiance. Here it is a winner. Having fun, laughing as a couple creates such complicity.
7. Life balance, quality time
Are you taking enough quality time to nurture the relationship? There is work, children, everyday things that monopolize our days. What do you do each week to make room exclusively for your couple? I know relatives who spend Friday evening every week. They put the children to bed, have a little romantic meal and treat themselves to a sweet romantic evening. To create magic, to create complicity, is to choose to be so and to take action.
In light of all this, are you tired of repeating the same hurtful scenarios, if that’s the case? Do you sometimes not know what to do to really live the relationship of your dreams?
Your relationship is going well, but you want to add elements of creativity for even more magic?
Confidence also, if you live disappointing moments. It is possible to be a happy person in love when you now dare to choose yourself and add new resources. Alone, we no longer see things in perspective enough and we move less quickly.
Adding new tools, finally having simple, effective and accessible solutions, allows you to better understand yourself, to feel good, to better see where you are going, to listen to yourself so that life tastes good.