7 steps to get out of a toxic relationship


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Getting out of a toxic relationship is quite possible, you can lift your head and make the right decisions, but to get there, you need to put in place the right actions. The life of a couple is not always rosy yet it is not inevitable, you can react and it starts now! On the other hand, if you come across a manipulator or even a narcissistic pervert or a manipulative woman , flee as quickly as possible because it is particularly complex to change someone who has a toxic personality.

1. What is a toxic relationship?

All love stories are different and that’s why the definition of the term toxic relationship is too. Indeed, some people from different backgrounds do not experience absolutely the same things but are nevertheless in the same sentimental distress . There are obviously different and more dramatic elements in some, I am thinking in particular of the women and men who are beaten or victims of psychological violence.

But even if your partner is not aggressive, you can still suffer in your relationship. Repeated infidelities , lies or even a routine that is far too present … All these elements can push you to completely question yourself and to wonder about the future of your couple.

A bad relationship is a love story that no longer brings you anything positive and on the contrary makes you unhappy or unhappy. You wake up every morning with a lump in your stomach because stress takes hold of you, for the reasons I just mentioned or for others that are more personal to you. Despite your initiatives, you feel that nothing is improving and even that things get worse over time. Your partner does not really make an effort to help you get through these different ordeals and you therefore have the impression of getting out of breath and especially the most painful of wanting to fight alone. There is nothing more frustrating… Your other half does not feel your discomfort and / or that him and her.

In order to get out of a toxic relationship, it is important to understand what it means. The fact that you occasionally argue with the one who shares your life should not come to question everything, it is normal not always to be on the same wavelength as the person who shares our life. You should therefore not immediately imagine a crisis when it is just a simple misunderstanding.

The toxic relationship is a real drama because it destroys you from the inside and often it has been around for a while. We do not get rid of it so easily, but there are still actions to take to overcome a harmful love affair .

2. How to recognize a harmful relationship? Signs of a toxic relationship!

Not all romantic breakups are the result of a toxic relationship. Indeed, a simple argument, a big disagreement does not mean that your ex or your partner is someone who has a bad
background who only seeks to harm you in order to have control over your state of mind. .

To fight a toxic relationship we must first better understand this notion and know if we are really confronted with this situation because the term narcissistic pervert is sometimes overused or used wrongly and through.

If I allow myself to warn you about this it is because many women and many men leave me comments explaining to me that they are with a narcissistic pervert. But in reality after further analysis I realize that this is not quite the case. Just because your other half or ex is wrong with you doesn’t mean that they are manipulative.

To be in a toxic relationship you first have to find yourself with a partner who wants to hurt us and hurt us deep inside. I’m not necessarily talking about physical violence because there is no need to be beaten for the couple to bring us bad luck, it is more about psychological abuse . And that’s why it’s especially hard to rebuild yourself after a toxic relationship . It is something that we feel deep within ourselves and it is not visible so we do not always realize it.

If everything went well at the beginning, things change at some point. Whether it is quickly or after a few years, the behavior of the one who shared your life is not at all the same. There are insults, lies, manipulation, we start to feel belittled , we feel guilty for things that we did not commit which obviously will lead to annoyance, to harm to be permanent and to questioning oneself. This phenomenon causes a loss of self-confidence and we therefore question ourselves.

These are not simple ephemeral arguments simply because it lasts a long time, for weeks, months we are dealing with a man or a woman who is far from corresponding to us who does not allow us to be happy. We alienate our family, friends, loved ones all that for him / her and we have regrets, we do not understand his behavior especially since we have made a tremendous effort for far too long, but it is is a one-sided effort and it is never enough …

At a given moment we must therefore make a radical decision when we realize that we are living with a person harmful to our development .

3. Toxic and difficult romantic relationship: Should we turn the page or save our relationship?

I am often asked whether it is in coaching or in the comments: “Alexandre, should I draw a line on my toxic love story or persevere so that everything changes? “. I understand that you ask me this question but in reality you already have the answer! Indeed, whether it is the rupture or the second chance, deep inside you, you know what you want.

Simply, you can fear making that decision, whatever it is. In order to make the right choice you need to take a step back and ask yourself the right questions. For example, you can take a blank sheet of paper, divide it in half and list the things that might prompt you to stay or leave so that your mind is less confused. This work does not have to be done in a few minutes, it can be done over several days! No need to rush things.

The title of this article does not automatically mean that you are going to have to break up. Getting out of a difficult romantic relationship can also mean saving your relationship and finally blossoming. You don’t have to divorce or separate. However, you must be aware that to relaunch a love story, efforts must be shared.

In order to have my opinion, it is important that I can hear you, know your story and discuss with you. This is why telephone coaching is the best solution. In this way, I will be able to guide you in your actions and in your decisions. It is not I who will dictate your choices. Quite simply because these will not have the same impact if they do not come directly from you.

4. How to stop living with a narcissistic pervert

It is not always easy to open your eyes and see the true nature of the one you love,  especially if the latter has a manipulative personality , but your presence here shows that you have become aware of what was going on and the destructive relationship .

You really came to realize that this relationship was not good for you. Rebuilding yourself after a toxic relationship is often the first step of putting aside your emotional dependence and being able to start to detach yourself. Everything we do, what we say, what we want is based on him / her. That time is over! Indeed, you must now think of yourself first because your partner does not care about you and your desires.

The first thing to do is to accept that this man or this woman is adopting a behavior that has nothing to do with love, and to stop seeing him / her as the person who is right for you, who is unique. From the moment you close down and absolutely want to retain the positive, you lose your chances of rebuilding yourself after a toxic relationship in love .

I am aware that it is not easy to find faults in the person you love but it is necessary in this context because it will really help you move forward. You have to stop idealizing him / her because you cannot continue to put him / her on a pedestal and see yourself as inferior and say that without him your life is worthless. This is exactly the thing to avoid. It is important to regain confidence, and for that to focus your action plan on yourself and not on him / her.

Distance is an important point when you want to give yourself a chance to move forward and no longer suffer, so you will have to change your habits and no longer be constantly behind him / her. It is not a radio silence in the sense in which I explain it in love reconquest because the goal is not to recover his ex but only to rebuild himself. It is rather important to get out of the routine and always have the same actions towards him / her and to systematically give him / her a new chance. The idea is therefore to cut contacts or else to break the phases during which the PN or the PN will want to re-seduce you to fall back into toxic relationships or toxic relationships.

Not only taking a psychological step back but also physical distance will help you no longer seem acquired, but in addition you will give yourself time and space to gradually feel better about yourself. The first times will necessarily be difficult to manage but you will go through phases during which you will gradually come out of the clutches of this manipulator or this manipulator . From there your reconstruction will be launched!

It is important, if you want to put all the chances on your side not to spend time with him / her because you will undoubtedly slow down and the risk of falling back into the trap set by the manipulator will be great.

5. Really change, the key to getting out of Toxic Love

In your situation, it is essential not to act based on the past and repeat the same mistakes or let your partner act in the same way. One of the keys to saving your marriage or to overcoming a romantic break-up and moving forward is to change your habits.

I will take the example of infidelity again. If you constantly forgive your partner and nothing changes on your side or his, if you do not put in place the necessary mechanisms to impose yourself and become irresistible again. Therefore you will never be able to get  out of it this way and your discomfort will only increase. Not only because your other half will continue to be unfaithful, but also because you will exhaust yourself by having the impression of putting in place actions which in reality will be ineffective because unsuitable.

Whatever your decision, whether you choose the breakup or the second chance, it is crucial to have a radical change in your relationship but not in any way. Understanding your partner’s expectations is imperative if you want to turn a toxic relationship into a balanced one . You have suffered enough from this relationship, you are taking an important step by reading this article and deciding to take action, but now you have to go even further.

However, this development should not be made for your partner but for you, it must be sincere if you want it to allow you to really find happiness, on the one hand personally and then in your sentimental life.

6. Rebuild yourself after a toxic relationship by targeting your happiness in love

For many men but also women, happiness in love is simply finding someone who suits us and living with him / her. But this reasoning is wrong or at least it is not the one I recommend because it has limits.

Choosing someone by default simply not to be alone is not at all the thing to do because very quickly we find ourselves in a situation that does not allow us to flourish, we find ourselves in a harmful relationship because it is not based on good foundations and above all we refrain from being really happy .

Happiness in love consists in finding someone who really corresponds to us and with whom the affinities will be strong . That is to say, a person who listens to us, who certainly has faults but who still knows how to bring us well-being. I am aware that for many people it is a little too optimistic view of love but I know it exists, I know it because thousands of people live it after discovering my philosophy. The testimonials I receive every day convince me that this is the right direction.

Everyone has a different vision of love and life as a couple, for some it will have to be a lot of communication, for others it will take a rather intense s*x life to stay with the same person, for others. ‘others it will be a psychological osmosis … But the common point is the fact of choosing this toxic man or woman for the right reasons and to live intense moments with the happiness online of mir .

You have to share strong moments together, have friendly projects and also accept that time is an element to be taken into consideration. Your life is not going to be like Hollywood comedies in which you fall in love in 2 days and at a glance. It is going to be necessary to understand that our relationship may take longer to be totally solid. So do not break up after a week with someone you like simply because you have not fallen in love with or fall under the spell of a person who thinks only of her and that hurts you.

7. How to find love again after a painful relationship?

Loneliness is not the solution to rebuilding yourself after a toxic relationship . While you don’t necessarily have to get back together 3 days after breaking up, you can’t just wait and do nothing for your love life.

However, finding love again after a painful breakup is not always easy because we often stay focused on the past. Distance will also play a useful role in this step. Seeing your ex on Facebook, talking to him by text, accepting his date isn’t going to help you, far from it. When we have suffered in love , it is better to turn the page to better move forward.

We must also remember our mistakes and not to commit any more we can for example put a little more barriers, be a little less present (e) at least in the first days, not to rush, not to move towards the same style of toxic men or nefarious women in order to start from scratch and above all to ensure that the past is not too present because it is the thing that could prevent you from getting out of it.

To know the precise diagram in order to rebuild yourself after a difficult relationship, I will direct you again to my training because it is a process too complex and too long to detail here. To access this unique program, go to this link: I want to get better after my harmful relationship .