Affective Autonomy: 3 keys to reach it, find it or keep it!

When I started my career as a sentimental coach I did not realize how emotional dependence is a scourge, not only for the couple but also for the personal well-being of each individual. By dint of facing this problem, I realized that it is a recurring problem that can affect anyone and at any time. Whatever our age, whether we want to find love, get our ex back or have a more fulfilling life together, the risk of losing our emotional autonomy is considerable, especially if we live through the other.

What is most dramatic in all of this is that the evil occurs insidiously, that is to say without realizing it. Moreover, it is often the relatives who sound the alarm bells. But you still have to listen to them … This does not mean that it is impossible to regain your emotional independence, but rather that you have to work on yourself and be aware of what is happening.

What exactly is needed for emotional insecurity to become a distant memory? What can you do to feel better and overcome love addiction ? What are the techniques to have more self-confidence? You will find the answers to these questions in the course of your reading, which will be tinged with personal development because the notion of emotional autonomy is much larger than you can imagine.

Emotional autonomy definition and meaning

Let’s start by giving a strict definition of Autonomy. It is about evolving independently of another person. Regarding the term affective or affective, the meaning is as follows: relates to the sentimental life. The overall definition would therefore be as follows:

Emotional autonomy is the process of evolving independently on an emotional level

We regularly evoke the phenomenon of emotional dependence, which has a rather negative connotation and which is therefore opposed to emotional autonomy . Yet the real goal is to achieve this goal of being emotionally autonomous.

The idea is not to live in a solitary and totally autonomous way, but rather to know how to free oneself from emotional dependence in the most absolute way possible. As we repeat regularly, before being happy or happy together, you must be alone .

Whether it’s to keep your independence in the couple , not to go too fast when you meet or to avoid making false promises to your ex on the occasion of a reconquest, it is essential to preserve a form of freedom.

The majority of people tend to confuse emotional and relational autonomy with isolation . But these two terms have nothing to do with it! The goal is not to isolate yourself and never show signs of interest again or to stop expressing your feelings. Simply, you have to know how to find the right balance .

If your partner does not respond to your messages after an hour, you should not panic and emotional autonomy allows you not to focus your whole life on your relationship because the opposite effect is likely to occur. produce. By wanting to overprotect your couple or your other half, you can even go as far as breaking the relationship, so much pressure is there. You actually have to be happy or happy without necessarily being permanently with your sweetheart because if your happiness depends on the presence or the goodwill of a man or a woman, you will always feel a form of blockage or worse yet, the pain if everything does not go the way you would like it to.

Define your lacks to overcome emotional insecurity!

When we are looking for a solution to a problem, we do not rush headlong into what we believe to be the solution, otherwise the choices may be risky. It is for this reason in particular that the advice of a coach is necessary. Not only does this make it possible to have the opinion of an expert who is neutral but who is also totally detached from the situation.

When your car is broken down, you take the time to understand where the problem may come from before acting and doing the slightest manipulation, and again, very often it is towards the garage! I want to say that when it comes to sentimental advice, it’s a bit the same principle.

To know and live in total emotional autonomy , it is first necessary to know what the initial problem is so as to know exactly which is the most appropriate method to apply. In fact, when we want to make concrete changes, we have to determine what is wrong and there may be several factors to take into consideration which will lead to such and such a choice.

When I accompany people in their sentimental and personal development, I have noticed that there are recurring problems:

1) Lack of self-confidence : Lack of confidence is the main cause that leads to a lack of autonomy at the emotional level. This lack can come from several factors such as physical complexes, the fact of not being up to the task or a general loss of confidence.

2) The past: Everything that happened previously can have an impact on the present and therefore provoked a need for emotional nourishment. A difficult childhood in which we lacked love, a painful story that ended badly, having been with a person who is afraid of commitment . All of this can leave traces and lead to fear of losing the one you love more than anything.

3) Following an infidelity: After having lived an emotional trauma a loss of autonomy is often observed by fear of being again to deceive. 

The observation is therefore clear, emotional dependence does not happen by chance, you should not blame yourself but you should not sit idly by thinking that things will work out on their own. You are already taking a first step by reading this article, you must now take the time to know what you need to change and especially what is preventing you from being happy.

How can you regain your emotional independence?

I would like to point out here that it is not only a question of love, of couple, of seduction but that it is much more global than that and that the key lies in your attitude. It is only you, your ability to bounce back and your personality that will make the difference because no one will do the work for you. Those who will have the courage to act will come out of an emotional addiction because everything is in the head. The psychological aspect is preponderant …

You have to be ready to hear things that do not please you and sometimes even go against nature in order to move forward. A real and deep motivation deep down will be essential because this process will not happen in a few days. It is by building a complete program for your psychological autonomy that you will finally be able to find and share happiness!

To no longer have this lack of autonomy at the emotional level, it will be necessary above all to develop the image that you have of yourself, from a social point of view, but also physical as well as family. You must have activities that will make you feel beautiful, useful, loved. You will have to be active or active because it is not by staying at home and doing nothing that you will be able to make a difference.

You will have to grow your social circle, be interested in new things while having only one goal in mind: spending time without your partner .

It is with simple actions but repeated over time that you will be able to feel better and gain confidence. For example, joining an association to help people in difficulty. Play sports and meet new people at the gym. Get back in hand physically to finally have the image you want. Each action will be important and do not forget to target the causes of your discomfort because this is what will determine your next actions in order to fight with force against emotional insecurity.

There is no inevitability in this situation, you can get out of it and to further support you, your coach team has created a complete training course, which allows you to fight emotional dependence before it is too late. 

I wish you to achieve sentimental independence as quickly as possible.