What if accepting this pain was the best way to start!
You are human and you can adopt a tender and understanding look towards yourself , accept your emotions and feelings which have their reason for being. You give permission to suffer, to feel pain, and even to make mistakes.
FACE YOUR PAIN:
- What’s more normal than to feel angry when you’ve been betrayed or humiliated
- What could be more normal than to be sad or devastated, noting that beyond the loss of your spouse, you also lose the plans you have made together, your family life, your family home……
- What could be more normal to feel guilty or to have regrets when you are at the initiative of the separation and see your ex unhappy
- What could be more normal than to imagine you together again and forget this bad moment in your life?
- What could be more normal to be afraid to take on this new life alone
- What could be more normal than to fear a loss of financial comfort
- What could be more normal than to feel resentment for these painful events?
- What could be more normal than to feel anger, jealousy, resentment when your ex “replaces” you quickly
- What could be more normal than to find this a beautiful waste, to have a feeling of failure
YES IT’S NORMAL !
You have the right to feel all of this. This is part of the grieving process , of detoxification. The relationship with the other can be like a drug that intoxicates you and you still need your small dose at times. The cure is on its way! And you may feel dependent on each other.
All these emotions, these feelings will pass with time.
Self-care takes time. It also takes time to heal from these sufferings , for remission. Everyone has their own pace, to rebuild! The early isolation period is often necessary.
It is therefore useless to force yourself to “move on” as soon as the breakup occurs, or to repress the feelings that would still exist for the other person. It ‘s ineffective to be in denial about your emotions, no matter how painful they are! Accept them and you will move forward more easily in your new life .
Wouldn’t it be absurd to act like everything is fine, like you’re not suffering from this heartache?
Then comes the time to remember that we can exist outside the couple!
The day will come when what you thought was impossible becomes POSSIBLE . This extraordinary moment when you will see with a relief mixed with nostalgia, that it’s over, that the suffering is gone , that anger, sadness, resentment, idea of revenge… are no longer part of your life and that you finally feel reborn, ready to face this new life.
So, have you gone through all the stages of mourning for your couple?
Some people go through the stages more or less quickly, while others remain stuck in anger or sadness, others in another emotion. They stagnate, the grieving process is on hold.
The breaks can last a few weeks, sometimes several months, and even a few years! And yes, it happens regularly.
The difficulty is to spot that you are no longer advancing.
- How long have you been in this emotion?
- Do you find that fair?
- Do you want to get out?
- And if you had a good reason not to move forward, what would it be ?
SO MANY QUESTIONS YOU NEED TO ASK YOURSELF AND FIND YOUR ANSWERS!
By reading this article, you may recognize that these steps are difficult to complete. Maybe you have this feeling of helplessness about the situation, but understand that what you are going through is normal and you need to wean yourself off of it.
It is therefore important to organize yourself to manage the lack and to move forward towards your new life.
What if during this period, you learn to live with the most important person in the world, but with whom you have not taken the time to live: YOU!
Live in colloquy with yourself and see how you love yourself! Are you ever happy living with yourself? Do you like your values, your behaviors, are you proud of yourself, of what you are, what you do?
It is not a question here of judging you, but on the contrary of doing a work of introspection on oneself which will also help you to build your new life with more authenticity and serenity.