Can the narcissistic pervert love? Did my ex have feelings for me?


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I am often asked if a narcissistic pervert has been able to love, if they need love and if they can give it.

It’s normal to find out if, when you were in a toxic relationship with a narcissistic pervert, you were loved, if he had feelings or if everything was fake.

I will answer very simply: I will remove the word “love” and replace it with fulfilling its narcissism.

1. I love myself too much to love you

Love for a narcissistic pervert consists in loving his ego. And only his ego. So if the narcissistic pervert has managed to gain control over you, if he has managed to forge you in his image, if you are no longer able to decide without his approval, then you have fulfilled the contract.

You have fulfilled its purpose. Value him, accept his humiliations, validate the good image he gives of himself on the outside.

You liked the image he gave you. You liked what he said. You liked what he was doing.

So as you tick all the boxes that fill in his narcissism, feeling valued, he liked you. He loved you. But not quite, he liked that you fueled his ego.

Did he like you as a person?

No, not as sane people understand it, he liked what you sent back to him, through your behaviors which were only the mirrors of what he wanted to obtain.

Because unfortunately, you weren’t able to see the various alerts at the beginning of your relationship which gradually reinforced his ego and set up the hold.

The narcissistic pervert does not know what love is. Self-love, that he masters, but loving someone outside of himself, for his differences, for his complementarity, for his values ​​and for his qualities, that he does not know.

The narcissistic pervert never knew the true love or the unconditional love of his parents, nor that of his brothers and sisters or of the people who surrounded him or who raised him, educated him.

That’s the reason he has this personality disorder. This is due to the fact that, throughout his childhood, he did not feel loved, he was often devalued, he was never good enough and it became so unbearable for him that to stop suffer, he created a character from scratch.

Someone who could be so perfect that everyone would love him, everyone would appreciate him.

And he will then have two possibilities available to him, either to show in broad daylight, oh how good and perfect he is, or he will be much more discreet and act submarine.

All his attention

You see what I mean, you meet someone who just wants sympathy, attention, understanding, who needs love and slyly as the days go by, you find that in fact everything always converges towards it. But it’s too late, you, in your natural empathy, you wanted to help him, you wanted to understand him, you wanted him to no longer suffer from a lack of love and you gave him everything.

You made up for his shortcomings and he vampirized you with all your energy. He needed attention and you gave it to him.

2. What is love for a narcissistic pervert?

The narcissistic pervert is incapable of giving love. Never having received any himself, he only reproduces what he knows: devaluation, lack of confidence, lack of attention. Everything he suffered for, he reproduced with you.

If his attention is not fulfilled, the narcissistic pervert can have a depression which can lead to suicide so he always needs attention, to be at the center of your concerns.

We also see many of this type of personality reach summits in the professional hierarchy. They will have to become leaders, leaders, politicians, capable of crushing everything to achieve their goals. Capable of destroying everything to be adulated.

And in a romantic relationship , it will be the same, as long as you have all your attention on him, as long as you love him unconditionally, his ego will be fulfilled. He is your God and he must remain so.

The person who has a romantic relationship with a narcissistic pervert ends up becoming weak, because he will always transfer the responsibility to the other, he ends up not knowing his own limits, he loses self-confidence and all self-esteem. same. This person is very often emotionally dependent and feels totally insecure in this relationship.

The narcissistic pervert always chooses a vulnerable and empathetic person as his prey.

What if two narcissistic perverts meet?

But it sometimes happens that two narcissistic perverts meet. And now that you know the personality traits of the narcissistic pervert, you will easily understand that two narcissistic perverts together cannot last.

They will be in permanent conflict and will separate .

3. What if he had loved me?

It is quite possible, on the other hand, for someone who does not meet all the characteristics of the narcissistic pervert and who does not have this deep personality disorder, to love.

Concretely, how will his love translate?

Presumably it will be someone who has an oversized ego but not enough to destroy the other so that he admires him and pays him even more attention. This being the case, he can only love someone who praises him. Who believes in him against all odds. Someone who devotes himself, who devotes himself to him. Someone who puts him on a pedestal. He will not necessarily need to humiliate his partner to establish his domination. This type of relationship, although toxic, prevents the development of the other for the benefit of the egocentric. As soon as the partner can no longer bear not to flourish, the relationship will end and it will certainly be because the partner will no longer love the egocentric or he will stop loving someone who no longer admires him.

I am sure that you have already met around you, this type of couple. One of the two is erased for the benefit of the other, one of the two has sacrificed his career for the benefit of the other and this person, in society, swears only by his spouse, his qualities, his strengths, his choices . There is love between these two people. And the egocentric will know how to give enough love in return to make his relationship last.