Closely closing the door of a past relationship is the best starting point for a new one.

Starting a relationship means starting a new chapter in the book of your life. This involves learning from previous chapters so that you can get the most out of reading the new chapter. However, that doesn’t mean we have to get stuck on previous chapters as someone keeping the handbrake on in case “something happens”.

Sometimes we face very common issues when starting a new relationship. Depending on what we’ve had before, we’re getting more and more cautious, more and more suspicious. We grope our way in the dark uncertainty of this new challenge before us.

Far from turning into a spontaneous and natural act, falling in love becomes like a risk. Fear grabs us by the hand, speaks in a low voice about future risks, related to problems we have had in the past, and prevents us from enjoying and being spontaneous. She dismisses all of that. She relegates this to the background, in a way that is totally unfair to us and to this person who has appeared in our life.

Before we start a new chapter, let’s meditate on the one that closes

Spontaneity, enjoying and mental peace often get stuck in the past. While waiting to be picked up where we left them. Why ? Maybe because we are terribly afraid of repeating the same old mistakes. To make bad decisions, not knowing how to predict signals or not knowing how to interpret them correctly.

This is why we must let the past rest (as far as possible), in order to filter all the learning and all the lessons it has given us. When we hook one relationship to another, we don’t give our heart that rest time when it needs it to sift through and understand the experiences it has had.

“Those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it.”

-George Santayana-

This especially happens in cases where the past relationship has been toxic and pernicious for us. We must be able to find a space in time to understand what this relationship wanted to teach us. Reject the fault on the other person never helps. It is for this reason that it is always essential to dialogue with ourselves in an honest and sincere manner.

When we learn from the past we choose better

The following chapters are decided in a freer way and without so many ties. People appear in our lives in a more natural and less forced way. When our hearts are calmer and have learned lessons from the past, they are willing to embark on a new adventure in a healthier and more free way.

“We should use the past as a trampoline and not as a sofa.”

-Harold MacMillan-

The mistakes of the past will help us to know how to choose this person. Of course, we don’t want to go through everything that made us suffer. This is why it is crucial to reflect on our share of responsibility in all that we have been through. To know what were the wounds that made us choose certain people and not others.

Uncertainty is part of life, it can’t cripple us

As soon as our mind is purer and healthier, we will be able to better choose our new companion / new companion. We will no longer allow ourselves to be led by ties, dependencies and lacks . Our complete and healthy “I” will be the one who chooses and he will choose someone who will enrich us, bring us light and joy just with his presence.

Learning from the past is essential to be able to continue moving forward on the great path of life. The uncertainty is something we have to accept as a feeling that is part of our existence. At the same time, a wiser “me” will have arisen and everything will no longer be so chaotic.

It is good to be careful and to be a little afraid of what is going to happen, but we must also give some freedom to life so that it surprises us with the future that it has in store for us. So close these chapters, learn from your past, and start a new story with joy and confidence. Only in this way will you be able to receive all the good things that await you.

SOURCE :  Nos Pensé