Do not confuse relationship, couple and love


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Two people who meet are two worlds which meet. The thing is not simple, but on the contrary very complex, the most complex there is. Each person is a world in themselves: a complex mystery, with a distant past and an eternal future.

At the start of the relationship, only the peripheries meet. But if the relationship grows in intimacy, gets closer, gets deeper, then little by little the centers start to come together. When the centers come together, this is called love. When the peripheries meet, it is called getting to know each other. You make contact with the other, from the outside, just from the edge: you then get to know each other. Frequently, you begin to call your encounter love. You are then in error. To get acquainted is not to love.

Love is very rare. To meet someone in his center is to go through a revolution yourself, because if you want to meet someone in his center, you will have to allow him to arrive, also in your center. You will have to become vulnerable, absolutely vulnerable, open. It’s risky. Letting someone come to your center is risky, dangerous, because you don’t know what they are going to do to you. And once all of your secrets are known, once your privacy is revealed, once you are fully exposed, what will he do? You don’t know. And the fear is there. That’s why we never open up.

A simple meeting and we think love has arrived. The peripheries touch each other and we believe that we have been met. You are not your periphery. In reality, the periphery is the border where you end up, it is the fence that surrounds you. It is not you ! The periphery is where you end and the world begins. Even husbands and wives who would have lived together for many years can be strangers, they don’t know each other. And the longer you live with someone, the more you completely forget that your centers have remained unknown.

The first thing to understand is therefore: do not confuse relationship , couple and love. Even if you are having s*x, even if you are having s*x, s*x is also on the periphery. Unless the centers meet, s*x is only the meeting of two bodies. And the meeting of two bodies is not your meeting. Sex, too, remains a superficial relationship – physical, bodily, but always superficial. But you can only allow someone to come into your center if you are not afraid, if you have no fear.

Also, I tell you that there are two kinds of existence. One is ruled by fear, the other by love. Living in fear can never allow you a deep relationship. You remain fearful and you cannot let the other do it: you cannot allow them to really enter you right down to your heart. You put up with the other one up to a point, and then it’s the wall and everything stops.

The one whose life is turned towards love is the religious and spiritual being. To be turned towards love means: not to be afraid of the future, not to be afraid of the result or the consequences: to live here and now.