Do you categorize your partner?

Men are like this, women are like this, I am a Scorpio ascendant Libra, you are a rat in Chinese astrology, etc.

We spend our time putting ourselves and others in boxes, in a desperate attempt to understand and master interpersonal relationships.

But can the human being really be defined and put in a clear category? Do we not change over the days and years, our education, our experiences, our choices…? Are we robots or beings of emotions of infinite richness?

Of course, psychological tests, astrological signs and other various and varied classification tools can be useful and sometimes surprisingly relevant.

Is it a good idea to categorize your partner?

However, keep in mind that these are just tools. They provide avenues for reflection to better discover oneself. It stops there.

No one can be put in a box and interpersonal relationships can never be fully understood let alone mastered and controlled. Fortunately!

The beauty of life is largely due to our interactions with our fellow human beings and to the unpredictability and impermanence of things. Otherwise we would have an equally exciting time with a chair.

The only sure thing about relationships and personality types is that if you try to figure out who the person in front of you is by relying on typologies, not only are you going to be miserably wrong but you will also be overwhelmed. completely missing the relationship and the shared moment.

No typology, no classification, will ever do justice to the richness of the human being. If you want to get to know someone, give them your attention instead of analyzing every word of their word and boxing them in and deciding who they should be.

Too much importance given to categorizations whatever they are, also induces a closing of your mind and a rigidity (even an arrogance) which will lock you in unsatisfying relationships.

So take off your blinders. Breathe. Stop labeling people. And stop labeling yourself.

Use the categorization tools when you want to better understand a person or their reactions, to have more ideas to propose, more avenues to explore. To love him better, not to control and master anything.

Remove the limits. You do not have to have the character defined in your astrological sign, supposedly altruistic profiles have the right to think of them too… Everyone can choose to be who they want, everyone can develop a capacity, you can be whatever you want. Most limits are just beliefs and constructions of your imagination.

Always keep in mind that nothing is set in stone, that you can be completely wrong, that no one can be defined in a few sentences, that no personality is the same as another and that you will always be very far from seeing the complete wealth of a person.

If you want to know something, ask

Take the time to discover the person, be present in the moment, share an authentic exchange. Let go.

And sometimes accept not to understand. Life is meant to be lived, not understood, let alone mastered. The same goes for relationships. There are times when you just have to let go and enjoy the moment without wanting to analyze everything.

When we speak of “happy fools” it is not that people who are supposedly less intelligent than others are happier, it is that people who know not to think excessively, stop at times from wanting everything. understand and who take the time to enjoy life are happier.

It is interesting to find the answers to some questions. However, it is necessary to distinguish them from questions to which we will never have the answer and from questions whose answer has no real interest.

Everything is in the discernment and the happy medium.

Any excess is harmful. And most of the shortcuts are misleading.

So know how to use all tools sparingly and wisely. And never trust them blindly? life is much more beautiful outside the boxes!

Melody Sachs.