Gary Chapman is a Doctor of Philosophy from Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary . He is the author of many counseling books, so the best known is ” The 5 languages of love ” and I can only invite you to read it.
In NLP, any behavior is underpinned by a positive intention is a presupposition. Our behaviors are generated by a positive intention. If your spouse or your partner are, in your opinion, too demanding, it is to give them a sense of quality. In his mind, he does it for the sake of the loved one.
What you feel when your wife expresses her love through touch is what she feels when you express your love by doing the laundry.
– Gary Chapman
It is easier and more constructive to respond to the intention rather than the expression of the “problem” behavior. The question to ask is: what could be the positive intention behind the behavior of the other or mine?
Even if you think you have the best dialogue and take the best actions with your partner, how can you not be open to the possibility that you can act in a different way to establish better communication?
Understand your partner’s needs!
Perhaps you express your love through gifts while your partner feels love more through another “language.” Understand that how you give your love might not match how your lover receives it. It will open your eyes.
By understanding the signs of love that your partner is receptive to, you may be able to express your feelings to them in the right way. Try different methods and see which ones your partner is most receptive to.
The “5 love languages” or ways to communicate affectionately with your partner, to express your love and to receive love are different for each of us.
- Words of appreciation: compliments , expressing positive feelings, saying “I love you”.
- Quality moments: fully devote your attention to your partner in the present and totally in consciousness.
- Gifts: physical symbols of love, such as flowers, jewellery, a romantic weekend or a restaurant outing, etc.
- Services rendered: walking the dog, cleaning the kitchen, helping with daily chores, etc.
- Physical touch: sexual intercourse, holding hands, hugs, caresses , kisses, etc.
You are convinced to already do what is best for your lover, really? Why don’t you take a moment to think about it?
Have a good day