Before I met my husband, I had a few relationships that I thought were real.
Obviously, they did not last. Sometimes the loneliness, confusion, and pain got the better of everything else. We find it hard to take stock in the midst of grief.
Sometimes this caused the burst. Sometimes I caused this. Each time, there has been an apology from both sides. I spent hours sorting through old memories. I tried to identify when it all got out of hand. I looked for the qualities in each of us that were incompatible. I examined our place in life, and determined that they were out of phase. I tried to make sense of it all, but I knew I was wrong.
In fact, I don’t know why our story didn’t last – and I couldn’t have known at the time.
Why your romantic relationship didn’t work out:
THE END OF MOST RELATIONSHIPS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH YOUR PARTNER EITHER.
You cannot find the answer in your faults or mistakes. It is not in a bad interaction or an irreversible error. There is probably nothing wrong with you or your partner.
You both did everything you needed to do. You have shown the best version of yourself. You have learned and grown in this love – and you both will continue to do so, long afterward.
Things didn’t end because he put his friends before you. Your relationship didn’t end because you cut your hair too short or flirted with the bartender too much. It’s not because you missed his calls or because he was too busy to take you to your sister’s wedding.
Your relationship didn’t end because you worked too hard. It didn’t end because he refused to be vulnerable. It has nothing to do with that embarrassing brawl outside the Olive Garden.
It didn’t end because he loved the Patriots and you the Falcons. It didn’t end because he felt emasculated when you beat him in Fantasy Football. It didn’t end because he was selfish or because you were childish and irresponsible.
It didn’t end because he wanted to move to the suburbs and you didn’t want to give up this city life. She didn’t end because you didn’t get along with her mother. It didn’t end because of the pretty brunette in her economics classes.
IT HAS ENDED BECAUSE WHEN THE EVOLUTION HAPPENED, YOUR RELATIONSHIP WASN’T BIGGER THAN THESE THINGS.
Your loyalty was not enough to overcome your nervousness. His self-esteem was not enough to overcome his jealousy and doubts. Your relationship was not enough to weather the storms you have faced. His forgiveness and grace were not enough to control his anger. Your love just wasn’t enough to overcome the growing distance between you.
All of the things that you built within your relationship – and within yourself – just weren’t powerful enough to overcome the challenges that life put in your way.
One day they will be.
These challenges are no joke. They destroy strong relationships, strong people. They win against the love that is real and deep.
There will only be one love in your life that can stand up to this – and God – whatever your view of this concept – is using those experiences to prepare you for it.
Each love you meet will make your heart stronger, your soul more complex, and your mind wiser. Every sorrow does the same. You evolve.
Allow yourself to grieve your relationship. Give your mind the time and space it needs to become whole again. Rest, change, and focus on your relationship with yourself – but do all of these things with a heart full of hope. Your true love is here, and it will be waiting for you. You will meet when you are ready.
Then you will understand.
Warm in your partner’s arms, you will no longer wonder why it didn’t work out. You will smile at each other. You will hold these memories with a bittersweet feeling of peace.
Believe me. Everything will make sense one day.
Source : iheartintelligence.com