“GASLIGHTING” How do narcissistic perverts build their hold on their prey?

How do narcissistic perverts build their hold on their prey? In this article and in my video at the end, I address the subject of “gaslighting” which narcissistic perverts often use to manipulate their victims.

Gaslighting is a  form of persistent manipulation and brainwashing that causes the victim of the narcissistic pervert to doubt themselves and ultimately lose their own sense of perception, identity, and purpose. ‘self esteem . A gaslighter’s statements and accusations are often based on deliberate lies and calculated marginalization.

Gaslighting (a term originating from the 1944 film Gaslight) is a form of emotional abuse in which a person or group of people convinces you that you have a short memory, are overly sensitive, or are simply crazy: The goal is to take power over you.

“The manipulators are those who lie, deceive you, treat you badly, and who manage to make you believe that it is your fault… for your own good”.

– Francois Fortin

The gaslighter performs psychological manipulation constantly distorting the truth, in an attempt to make their victims question themselves and feel less confident. They manipulate their relationships by controlling, such as telling others how they should think, feel, and behave submissively. They often become critical, angry, intimidating, and/or hostile towards those who fail to comply with their directives.

You can be manipulated by your partner, a boss, and even a family member. They can be men or women, superiors or colleagues, parents or siblings, with one thing in common: their ability to make you question your own perceptions of reality .

This particular manipulation technique can lead to total control. Often linked to what many call narcissistic pervert, mpn. Sometimes this method takes the form of a pretext to disempower the victim of a toxic relationship. Remember that 10% of the population would be completely insensitive to any form of manipulation. I let you imagine the number of people likely to be affected.

This scenario can be set up from the start of the relationship, after several weeks, and also years following a trigger. Many studies and writings have been done on the impact of narcissism and gaslighting on relationships. Although each of these often destructive pathologies is unique, there are some behavioral overlaps.

How to detect if one is a victim of gaslighting by a narcissistic pervert?

The relationship can be completely and totally dreamed up. Love bombing or love bombardment may be present. This personality is kind, human, it is the perfect person and the ideal relationship!

What’s tricky about the first stage of gaslighting is that the pivot moment seems insignificant. A little misunderstanding, a vague moment of discomfort, a fit of anger or a disagreement. However, this is the time when the relationship can take different directions, either towards the installation of gaslighting or away from it.

Carefully observe people around you, your instincts, your inner voice, and especially your intuition. At this stage, the manipulation does not manifest itself in the behaviors typically associated with emotional abuse. A feeling that something is wrong and of something diffuse. However, these impressions can be shared by people around you, and by your intuition .

The gaslighter easily uses criticism as a weapon of manipulation, with the intention of throwing you off balance. Even if this criticism is partially true, the difference between a constructive remark and an attack can be slim depending on one’s world map. If the criticism received is perceived emotionally harshly, it is important to ask yourself questions:

  • Is it constructive?
  • It helps me ?
  • Is it with the true aim of helping me, encouraging me?
  • What is its real purpose?

Here are 6 common traits of narcissistic perverts who use gaslighting to build their hold on their prey:

  1. Frequent lies and exaggerations: Narcissists and gaslighters are prone to frequent lies and exaggerations about themselves and others. They tend to lift themselves up by putting others down. Whereas narcissists often strive to appear superior by taking undeserved credit and using other forms of self-aggrandizement. They can be adept at twisting facts, deliberate lies and destroying the esteem of others.
  2. Rarely Admit Flaws and Be Very Aggressive When Criticized:  Many narcissists and gaslighters are sensitive and may react poorly if called to account for their negative behavior. When challenged, the narcissist is likely to fight (tantrum, excuse, denial, guilt, hypersensitivity, etc.) or take flight (walking out of doors, avoidance, silent treatment, sulky resentment , or other forms of passive aggression). They almost always resort to escalation by doubling or tripling their false accusations or coercion to intimidate or oppress their opponent.
  3. Projecting a False Image of Themselves: They tend to project false and idealized images of themselves to the world, in order to cover up their inner insecurities. Many narcissists like to impress others by making themselves look good on the outside and projecting their weaknesses onto others. They attack their victims with direct or subtle cruelty or contempt, gaining sadistic pleasure from these offenses and betraying a lack of empathy and humanity.
  4. Breaking the rules and violating your boundaries: Many narcissists like to get away with breaking rules and social norms. Boundary violations presume entitlement, with a narrow, self-centered orientation that oppresses and dehumanizes their victims.
  5. Emotional Invalidation: Although narcissistic gaslighter perverts can be (but are not always) physically abusive, for the majority of their victims, emotional suffering is where the damage is most painfully felt. They like to broadcast and elicit negative emotions in order to feel powerful and keep you insecure and off balance. They usually invalidate the thoughts, feelings, and priorities of others, showing little remorse for causing pain to their loved ones. They also enjoy using guilt, blame, and victimization as means of manipulation.
  6. Using others as an extension of the self: Gaslighter narcissistic perverts tend to make decisions for others based on their own agenda. They may use their romantic partner, child, family, friend, or co-worker to fulfill selfish needs, to fulfill unfulfilled dreams, or to cover up their weaknesses.

Your share of responsibility when you are a victim of gaslighting.

Risk is justification more than a real exchange. It is essential to learn how to protect yourself from this type of toxic relationship. The important message is that it is not trivial to encounter this type of manipulative personality and as long as your little inner voice coming from your emotional dependence makes you believe that you need someone and especially the person who manipulates us to feel good. As long as this little voice convinces you that to have confidence in yourself, to have satisfactory self-esteem, you need a third party, you will remain potential victims of a narcissistic manipulator .

Cardiac coherence, meditation, yoga, martial arts, work on yourself with a therapist, coach, shrink, spending time alone and also seeing people, sharing your time, especially with your friends and our family is essential to help you keep the clear ideas.