Grumpy people, people who tend to complain , protest, be grumpy, people who can’t stand anything and who seem to be about to send anyone who contradicts them, these people are actually in the midst of suffering .
Suffering has many faces; you can express it with tears, by sleeping or overeating , being anxious most of the time, or even masking it with anger .
Anger is a mask that can give the impression that we are strong, but the only thing it does very often is to compensate for a lack, an inner weakness.
If we spend time with a cranky person, they will command a certain respect and a certain distance from us since that is precisely what they want from us.
This momentarily helps him to inflate his ego which, as we have said, is in fact deeply affected.
Anatomy of a cranky person
Low tolerance for frustration
Grumpy people have a very poor tolerance for everyday inconveniences and get angry when things don’t go the way they would like.
This generates in them a hatred that they generally project onto others, often by being disagreeable to everyone who is by their side.
Generally, they complain, but without arriving at any effective solution. They end up exhausting themselves, and they also exhaust the people around them , thus complicating their social relations.
Usually, complaints are aimed at making others feel guilty, at victimizing themselves, and are exaggerated.
Cranky people are people who, far from looking for workable and realistic solutions, prefer to complain and spend most of their time getting mad at all of those things they can’t control.
However, what they can control, they let go, and rare are the times that they take responsibility, since as we said, generally, they think that others must act in a certain way with them or that life had to be different from what it really is.
Bad hair from an early age
These behaviors, like almost all, are generally learned, whether through family, movies, books or any message that a child has internalized.
They register with grumpy people and this for the rest of their lives, without them questioning themselves or wondering whether such behaviors are beneficial to them or not.
Although genetics can have an influence, generally, we are not born cranky but we become.
It is important to be aware of one thing: if we have learned to be like this, then we can also learn not to be anymore, even if it is not always easy to unlearn due to the automation of the process. human behavior.
Threatening verbal and non-verbal language
Usually, cranky people present themselves in a serious and unfriendly manner, with furrowed brows, often without ever looking the person they are speaking to in the eye.
Their verbal language is threatening; they impose their opinions as the only truth, without listening to what others may have to say.
In addition, the tone is generally loud, energetic, and gives a feeling of nervousness. All of this is closely linked to the type A driving pattern, which is itself linked to cardiovascular disorders.
It’s not all so bad
Ultimately, all of this is only part of the cranky person; deep inside there is a wonderful person, a child who wants to play and have fun.
This cranky person we see today was once a five-year-old child lulled by his illusions and overwhelmed by the urge to jump, to laugh …
From an early age and throughout our lives, we internalize certain dysfunctional beliefs . We appropriate them, and we guide our life according to them.
Therefore, we feel that our mind is confused, that this inflates our ego, and pushes us to be demanding …
So, in order to “turn off” a cranky person, we have to be able to awaken the child within them… but how do we do that?
A child is the expression of love and joy, it is pure innocence, it is a desire to give affection but also to receive it; so here is our weapon, the main one, love .
Love is the most powerful weapon that can exist. It involves understanding, affection, a touch of humor, smiles and good treatment.
Therefore, if one wants to “turn off” a cranky person, the first thing to do is forget about the ego.
This means that we should not feel hurt or affected if this person looks at us with contempt or if he uses a bad tone with us. We must never forget that it is a confused person who is wrong in the way he acts.
It also helps to realize that the grumpy person is, at heart, a fragile person who has not been able to deal with the problems in their life well and who is generally not satisfied.
There we can resort to a part of love: understanding.
Another tactic to “turn off” cranky people is to show them our best smile as well as our warmest, sincere affection.
Give it a try, and you will see how effective it is; we all like to be treated well, that others smile at us and love us.
With these people, use a sense of humor. Not to make fun of them, of course, but rather of the everyday situations that disturb them.
Often times, it helps them to have someone on their side who manages to see the bright side of even the most negative things, or just who is able to downplay.