How to express the bottom of his thought without hurting the other?


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Sometimes expressing our thoughts without fear of hurting the other person can lead us to act inappropriately for ourselves. Can we learn to be clear, direct and respectful when speaking to others? Yes !

It is necessary to think before speaking, to express oneself clearly. Your ability to listen actively is fundamental; it means getting to know each other and defining precisely what ethics are ours and to what extent we can accept manipulating the interlocutor because the verbalized responses due to fears and other limiting beliefs are toxic for ourselves and for the others.

Everyone has their own way of expressing themselves, but certain communication styles prevent you from saying what you mean and believing what you say.

I have a little game for you:

  1. Start the game by inhaling and exhaling deeply twice.
  2. Practice speaking in front of a mirror
  3. Think of situations where you usually find it difficult to express yourself.
  4. Imagine what you would like to say to someone.
  5. Take the time to collect your thoughts while paying attention to the sensations felt in your body.
  6. Then write what you want to say.
  7. Finally, practice with a friend you trust.

Even if you don’t realize it yet, words are powerful , really powerful, and since we all have a different map of the world, you may not yet be aware of their impact even if you have the experience. situations that went wrong without you understanding why.

“Nonviolent Communication is based on a practice of language that strengthens our ability to maintain our qualities of the heart, even in trying conditions. –Marshall

B. Rosenberg

Expressions like ”  I want” , ”  I am” , ”  I need”  and ” I feel”  allow you to illustrate what you feel in a clear and direct way, without blaming your interlocutor. They are useful especially when you want to express negative feelings or hold a difficult conversation and also when you communicate your feelings to your present or desired partner.

  • If you want to solve a problem with a colleague, try saying this to him: when you leave the office for lunch and do not come back until after three o’clock, I feel uncomfortable having to do the necessary actions on my own. gig. I need to spend more time with you so we can do this together.
  • If you want to voice your concerns to a friend, try saying this: When you just cancel our dates at the last minute, I feel sad and disappointed. I need to be notified earlier when you plan to change our schedules.
  • If you are in a relationship and you want to share a difference , rather than wanting to impose a change, for example by using the “you” should do like that, rather and simply express your feelings and engage in a non-accusatory dialogue. constructive.

Your non-verbal communication conveys the essence of your intention in the message sent. If you also express yourself correctly through your body, your intentions will be better understood by your interlocutor. Standing confidently makes you look more confident. Look your interlocutor straight in the eye. Stand up straight or sit up straight.