How to Let Go of a Past Relationship


When we meet a new love, we can sometimes feel a weight from our emotional past. This past linked to old love relationships that can be painful and awaken wounds from which we have tried to escape or heal but which have ended up exhausting us internally.

For this, it is up to us to move forward in truth, harmony and full presence with our new partner to become aware of it and to clean up what no longer belongs to us, or what we no longer wish, with kindness, forgiveness and love .

The presence of this hold of our old loving relationships in our hearts can show itself in different facets. Whether this hold is unfortunately the result of malicious past partners or whether it is simply a weight of accumulated stories that have made us doubt ourselves and love, it is important to talk about it with your life partner. and to ensure that this invisible hold, marked deep within us, is released . This liberation will then allow us to be in the genesis of an authentic version of love.

  • What are the appearances of these grips that reappear in our heart in the middle of the relationship?
  • How then can we free ourselves from it and make our love a unique presence that belongs to the two lovers?

The influence in silence.

When we enter a new love story, we tell ourselves that we will not make the same mistakes, that this time we will be able to start something new again.

We want to believe it. And it is always advisable to keep this hope in oneself, to always dream of the love embodied by a person and which could accompany us on our way of life. If we no longer dream, if we no longer believe in the possibility of being loved, then we feel a void in our soul.

We are made of love for each other. To receive, to welcome someone’s love is also to give it. This reciprocity is not always obvious even if it is what we all aspire to. It is not easy because we arrive in this love with a personal emotional baggage which will either find in the other caresses to the soul or rejections, misunderstandings.

So no matter where you are on this love journey, when you find yourself facing love with a person who can show you all the positivity and momentum to believe and dare to start a new story, we have in us despite all the unspoken wounds generated by these past loves.

Our old relationships undeniably leave a silent hold on us.

And this will resurface in the heart of the new love relationship through different aspects and I will only describe two of them here: Fear and lack of trust.

1. Fear does not come by chance within a couple.

The influence of old relationships have created in us a fear of losing the other. Indeed, when you love someone, very quickly a certain emotional dependence will appear at the beginning where everything converges towards the gift of self to the other and it will therefore play an essential role in the bond of the two lovers. Either this addiction will be overcome, or it will settle down again with the appearance of the hold of the past.

You will fear again to be left, to find yourself alone. You will struggle to talk about commitment. These fears due to your old relationships but also to your childhood abandonment wound that we all experienced at the time of our birth can create discomfort and put both partners in an uncomfortable situation. And if it lasts, it can lead to separation.

2. Lack of trust

At the beginning of a love relationship we are in what we call the so-called seduction honeymoon phase. Both partners are in very strong mutual feelings. We are full of energy and we feel capable of doing everything together. Confidence is therefore at its peak.

However, in the second phase the influence of old relationships will come to titillate us once again by installing doubt. Questions will pop up all over the place. You have the impression that the spiral is on its way and that you are losing your inner and outer bearings because everything is upside down. It’s a real revolution. This lack of confidence will manifest itself in different ways through fear, jealousy, routine, focus on problems, disappointment… In short, we clearly forget that it is the present moment which is the most important and which will strengthen our bond more and more.

The strength of the new relationship will therefore reside in the fact of not transposing everything that has imprisoned us and lead us to surpass or even transform this to create a different relationship of love while accepting and caressing these wounds left unsaid. This is where the release process can then untie the red ribbon of intimate knots.

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The release of intimate knots

These old emotional ties have created what I call a red ribbon, which is shared throughout life and which we have tied around our hands invisibly. This knot contains our intimate security and our affective insecurity. It tightens our emotional family ties and then our love relationships.

This ribbon will determine our individuality in love. To know if we are lovable and capable of loving.

So it happens that silence in a love relationship is the knot of intimate secrets. This ribbon is said to only come loose when both partners whisper to each other’s heart .

And whispering to another’s heart is to hear your own love beat first.

Knowing your rhythm of love to free yourself from the tape.