Just because a woman – or a man – has had her heart shattered into a thousand pieces doesn’t mean she doesn’t deserve love. It just means you need to approach your relationship a little differently without reopening or further damaging its deep emotional scars.
She’s probably been involved with a few men who didn’t mean well, who were violent and she’s probably given her body and her confidence away too soon more than once. This probably goes further than his former abusive relationships and this relationship dynamic possibly started in his childhood with similar family dynamics. So take your time and really get to know her.
It takes a lot of courage to love women marked by the past, those who have a strong character, but a good heart. It takes a lot of love to heal wounds and disappointments. But above all, you have to be smart, because they are so mature and so experienced that they no longer believe in how they feel, but rather in what you are ready to do for them.
A woman broken by violence probably suffers from low self-esteem and her self-confidence is probably destroyed. That’s where you come in. You’re not there to boost his personal ego, but you should remind him of all his good qualities. Never forget to tell her how beautiful, smart and strong she is.
She needs to know that you really love her for who she is. If you talk to her openly about your feelings and the progress of your relationship, she will slowly begin to let her guard down too.
Here are 6 tips to better love a woman hurt by violence:
- Don’t be surprised if at times she jumps when she’s in her thoughts and doesn’t hear you coming. It’s not because she doesn’t trust you, it’s more of a detail.
- Don’t question her in detail. The idea is not to get him to relive that with you, so that there is really a distinction between his past and the story that you live together. Your role is rather to pull her towards a present and a common future that bring you both real joy and happiness, and that really contrast with the past. You too have necessarily experienced difficult things, the idea is to turn together the pages of a new book that is common to you.
- Don’t overbid. Rather value his career, his courage to have known how to leave and to put the necessary means which allowed him to move on and to start this new story one and the other which will lead you to this new fulfilling story.
- The power of the embrace, what we commonly call cuddling: having tender enveloping gestures towards her, taking her hand, being for her a sphere of tactile softness.
- Regarding sexuality, the fact of having been brutalized, even if your partner has not been the victim of rape, weakens her self-esteem. When making love it is important to make him feel that you have a real consideration for his body and his rhythm. Take your time and don’t rush if you really love this woman and if you want to build something with her.
- Make your friend feel protected in your company. For example when you go out in the street, if he has jostling or agitation, simply putting yourself in front of her and protecting her is very important both symbolically and physically where your partner will feel supported and made loved and pampered. All these attentions will make the difference and may allow him in turn to bring you all the love and all the attention you deserve and which will allow you both to find a path of happiness and sharing. .
She may have had her heart broken years ago, but that doesn’t mean all her wounds are healed. It takes her a long time for the emotional scars to fade, and you have to understand that you can never heal her. She may get angry, jealous and sometimes feel very uncomfortable, but it has nothing to do with you. That’s all her. In time, with your love and support, she will be able to let go of the past and enter into a loving, healthy relationship with you.