Love When You’re Ready, Not When You’re Lonely


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Love is pure adrenaline and escapes all rationalization: we can’t control it and we can’t decide when we want it to happen.

It happens and you feel something extraordinary, so terrifying and special that no one can be indifferent to it. Thus, we cannot hide or obscure what we love, we fall in love and any attempt at explanation is useless.

The magical nature of love means that we cannot force it to appear when we want to .

In fact, when the philosopher Jean-Paul Sartre said that we were free, but less to decide to be, he forgot to add this feeling of falling in love : we do not choose it, it happens and to any time in our life, be it good or bad.

Boomerang relationships

We are sure that you have already lived the terrible pain of a romantic break-up and that you know better than anyone the consequences of this emotional loss: these are called boomerang relationships, those that start right after another relationship that has left wounds. .

“What do we love when we love, my God: the terrible light of life or the light of death?

What are we looking for, what do we find, what is love? Who is it ? ” 

-Gonzalo Rojas, poem “What do we love when we love? –

All relationships that start after a breakup are the product of this boomerang effect, but in many cases what happens is you think you’re alleviating the pain and try to move forward with the wrong thing. : we think, without realizing it, that this new person will solve the evil being and unite all our broken pieces.

Behind this behavior, however, there is loneliness and instability: we are so bad that we have not managed to overcome it, but we hide it because it is easier than to face it.

It is the lost link that makes us think that we need another link to feel fulfilled : we seek to love desperately to erase the past, forgetting that only the person ready to do so truly loves.

The fear of celibacy

Sharing someone’s life isn’t easy, but if there is true love, the pieces fit together and the relationship moves forward happily.

Likewise, it is not easy to cohabit with yourself if there is something unbalanced in us that requires attention.

Thus, before running in search of balance as a couple, you must learn to be with yourself. Otherwise, any union is just a mirage.

To overcome loneliness, or rather to realize that it is positive, the first thing to do is to face the fear: many people do not like their spouse, but they are afraid of having no one.

Until we understand this, we probably repeat the mistake over and over in our relationships.

The fear of celibacy is a growing problem in the Western world, which sometimes prevents us from going through the grieving process that we should go through after a breakup.

This event creates emotional dependence and mistaken concepts of loneliness and freedom: being alone does not mean “being bitter” and being with someone does not mean “being happy”.

“There is no formula

Love

is the millimeter boundary

that separates the soul

of the most absolute matter,

too tangible a fantasy ”

-Suso Sudón, poem “Metamor” –

Coincide as if by magic

As we said before, we really like who is prepared for it, who has recognized that he does not want to fall into the same traps of the past and who dares to take the risk because what he feels is greater than his tremors of fear.

It’s the magic of coinciding with someone when you least expect it and knowing that the only choice you have is to try something.

There is the one who is so eager to feel loved that he lets his heart be covered with unreality, there is the one who does not love himself and who wishes to be loved, there is the one who does not that listens to his mind to make a movement and that forgets the emotion .

Love is made up of emotions and cannot be measured or calculated.

Who falls in love realizes that he did not have to make any effort to get there: because it was the moment that life had reserved for him. 

 “It was your story

She ran into mine

So many people, so many people around outside

And meet on that day ” 

-Song Meet by chance , Macaco-

Source: nospensees.fr