Relationships: Do You Know How To Love?


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Love is a pure, noble and precious feeling. It is defined by this bond of affection that we tie to others with an intention of reciprocity animated by the warmth of the heart.

Love is therefore in no way either manipulation, domination or submission.

The power of true love is immense as it nourishes all impulses and activates all the highest aspirations. Loving is beautiful, it’s delicate, it’s being attentive to the other by wishing them the best at every moment to raise them towards their ideals even if it takes them away from you.

When this feeling is lost in the fog of illusions, it is difficult to understand the actions of those who pervert love into a feeling of obligation.

Even if we love amorously or affectionately as within families or in friendly relations, love always remains free, it never has dark shades, it comes in soft and lively tones, it is the very symbol of the light in all its truth. There is no love in reproaches, there is no love in criticism nor in lies nor in malicious acts and even less in jealousy or in reproaches.

We don’t hurt each other out of love. We do not take revenge out of love to push the other to admit his faults. Doing so is very far, very far from love. At that moment, this feeling which must always be positive and rewarding is replaced by its opposite of terrible and destructive power because we know, “there is only one step from love to hate”…

Of course the one who does not know how to love, always accuses the others of all the failings, of the lack of recognition, of the lack of understanding, of the lack of closeness. So you have understood that someone who himself suffers from a lack of love is not capable of loving fully without wanting to deprive the other of his freedom.

Loving each other is stronger than anything

Before wanting to blame others for your difficulties in loving, everyone must first of all start by analyzing their relationship to love. Very quickly, the answers will send him back to childhood and his wounds which unfortunately leave indelible traces which must be cured imperatively by adapted therapies. The risk would be to reflect on others, all the shortcomings that we may have suffered at any age! Not knowing how to love is therefore not a fault that cannot be changed. You have to commit to developing self-love as a powerful elixir that will allow you to be able to love others.

Not knowing how to love is terrible and destructive! This means that if we hide our face by evoking feelings of love for the other when we are unable to love ourselves, most likely the relationship will suffer from this lack and end in conflict.

What does it mean to “love yourself”?

Learning to love yourself is learning to know yourself by heart: your tastes, your talents, your weaknesses, your strengths, your limits, your potential! It’s accepting yourself as you are without wanting to manipulate or take power over others with the intention of making them believe that you love them more than anything. Love does not bother with this idea of ​​showering the other with gifts to supposedly prove your love to them. On the contrary, to love oneself is to leave to the other all the space necessary for his total development. It is to occupy the right place which leaves to the other the possibility of existing in turn. We must not create an imbalance harmful to love. To love yourself is to respect yourself completely and never give others the opportunity to disrespect you!

Not knowing how to love yourself is therefore not accepting who you are in the end, your status, your life story, your origin, your personality, … the list is long. It is often to find all the faults of the Earth.

To not love yourself is to be so bad with yourself that you wait for someone to come and save you. Love is not a rescue story.

In the same way to perch very high on its pedestal to make believe that one controls the world, that one is omnipotent, and this in order to attract the other, it is an attitude of weakness which hides a lack of self-confidence. masked by this disguised assurance and this need to control everything.

When we love, we share everything, we don’t need to invade each other’s space!

Loving yourself is in no way synonymous with selfishness or narcissism, it is feeling for yourself what you would like others to feel for you. Loving yourself is this ineffable joy of being able to find yourself alone at chosen times to take care of yourself, to have time for yourself, to offer yourself a lot of tenderness and understanding. To love oneself is to have as much compassion for oneself as one has for others. When we love each other, we remain completely free of our choices, our decisions, our projects. When we love each other, we understand each other, we learn from our own attitudes, our own behaviors. When we love ourselves, we open ourselves to the love of others without fear, without mistrust because we fear nothing…

Not loving yourself is destructive because when you offer your love to others, you will force them to love you, to fill your gaps, to repair your cracks, to compensate for your faults and to meet all your expectations. It is not healthy, it is not possible to ask someone else to do for you this work of introspection necessary to reconcile you with yourself, to repair you in order to share more appeased.

This feeling of “not knowing how to love the other” exists in any type of relationship. For example, a mother who has a failure in her relationship to herself can expect from her children this obligation of unsustainable and toxic devotion which will destroy the lives of her children, it is the same in a couple, or between friends…

Love is therefore a complex feeling, it is not enough to say “I love you”, it is also necessary to perceive the full meaning of this commitment to the other, all the necessary concessions, all the agreements to be made to do not force the other to love you, to allow the warmth and openness of the heart to overflow naturally without imprisoning the other in a golden cage, without limiting his territory, without pushing him to reduce or restrict himself out of love.

Love is the greatest of freedoms, to love another with an open heart is to leave him free of his actions, his words, his life. It’s watching it flourish without fear of losing it, it’s wanting to push it towards its highest ambitions, it’s always helping it to keep its freedom of being.

We can learn to love if we have the impression of not knowing how to do it, to be aware of this is to allow ourselves to discover the true meaning of the verb “to love” and to live in unconditional love which will then vibrate all around you in a magical halo destined to overflow from your heart to the hearts of others. Love has no chain…