Love is a wonderful feeling, but it is also very paradoxical. It can both achieve a form of plenitude and well-being when everything goes as desired, but conversely it can lead to extreme suffering when nothing is going well. It is not for nothing that we speak of a broken heart or sadness in love after a painful sentimental event …
There are multiple reasons why love and sadness are linked, but the one that immediately comes to mind is the suffering of love after a breakup . However, since this is not the only one, I will also cover the other reasons later in this article. But above all, I will provide answers on how to overcome his distress in love in order to feel better about himself, to find inner peace and to put an end to his grief as quickly as possible. Can we measure the pain of love?
Before discussing the various situations that can lead to feeling sentimental suffering , I would like to make a small clarification. When I organize conferences or live events, I often hear participants make a sort of comparison between their different romantic disappointments .
It is as if the winner is the one who has suffered the most. However, each human being experiences things in their own way. It is especially for this reason that men and women fall into a romantic depression , where others would not even be affected. It is therefore impossible in my opinion to measure the sadness in love which depends on multiple criteria linked to the personality such as the sensitivity or the degree of attachment but also unrelated to the personality such as the age or the s*x of the person.
There are, as you might expect, several reasons that lead to feeling sad in love . But that absolutely does not mean that it is possible to categorize each person’s pain according to the situation. It would indeed be ridiculous to say that someone who suffers after a painful breakup has more pain than someone else who has had to endure the infidelity of their partner.
Each of us has our own sensitivity, our own limits and what is acceptable or bearable for one is not necessarily for the other, and vice versa. And to stop suffering in love, there is only one method: to stop loving at all. But even if it can work for a certain period of time, because no one is safe from a thunderbolt … Especially when you least expect it or absolutely not looking for it!
Love and suffering are indeed two closely related concepts. Have you ever heard a sad love phrase such as from love to hate there is only one step?
What are the reasons that lead to romantic sadness?
The love distress can indiscriminately hit singles, people who are going through a break or men and women in couples.
Sadness, love and celibacy
When you are single, it is not easy to accept the gaze of others, especially when they allude to your celibacy. By force it can become boring or even hurtful, when we do everything to get together with someone. Whether it is the desire to find love on the internet , to do speed dating, or even to get into American dating , it is sometimes unbearable not to find the right fit.
We must not forget that there is also social pressure, for example with parents who add a layer or when we see our friends settle down one by one and gradually have children. No one wants to be the last or the last and be left behind. It is this feeling that we want to avoid at all costs and which can cause romantic sadness because there is nothing worse for a human being than loneliness.
But sometimes even when there are two of us, happiness is not there.
Disappointed love and suffering in love as a couple
When it comes to the couple, there are several causes of pain in love . I am not in a position to list them all and I therefore chose to mention only the most frequent or the most difficult to collect.
As mentioned above, the most obvious love suffering when you are in a relationship is the infidelity of the person you love. There is nothing worse in my opinion than love betrayal .
Another situation that hurts when you are in a relationship is the fact of loving a person who is detached because you feel like you are no longer on the same wavelength and making efforts that will be in vain. It is possible to rekindle the flame, but you still have to have the courage.
Finally, the third situation goes even further since it is about the stage which will follow the detachment in love. It’s about loving someone who doesn’t love you anymore. Sometimes for practical or financial reasons, we stay under the same you and the term couple has nothing to do with the definition we make of it. It’s more about becoming a roommate. It is painful to live for the one who still has feelings because it sustains the hope of finding a “normal” relationship.
But what most frequently causes romantic sadness is still the fact of separating.
Sad in love after a separation
A real disappointed love is a love that ends. A sentimental breakup provokes questions, doubts and often even a questioning on the level of love of course but also personal and family.
When you lose your soul mate , you have the feeling of losing everything and life doesn’t have the same flavor at all. It is the monotony, the sadness and the sorrow that takes over. We no longer see things the same way.
What do we feel when we are in love distress?
Each person has their own unique way of experiencing events and therefore the feelings you may have will not be at all the same as that of your cousin, your sister or your best friend. However, there are some sensations or emotions that affect almost everyone during a phase of sadness in love .
Every man or woman who is going to have pain in love will feel a lack . Either it is the lack of the person we love, or of a person we would like to have near us.
The other phenomenon is to feel immense pain which can very quickly turn into torment. This sometimes leads to romantic depression or depression. The problem in this kind of situation is that we no longer have a taste for anything and therefore we let ourselves go completely. We neglect ourselves, we neglect those around us and it is a veritable vicious circle that sets in.
It is also possible to have regrets when we are sad in love . Especially after a breakup, you can tell yourself that you should have done this or done that to keep your love . But living in remorse does not help, on the contrary, it is preferable to act in order to move forward because very often it is when we manage to overcome our sadness in love that we are attractive ( e).
How to fight effectively against a heartache?
Well, you might as well be frank and tell you things directly! Obviously, advice from your friends like you to forget your ex or your best bet is to go clubbing to find someone else is not going to cheer you up.
On the other hand, basically they are not totally wrong. You are going to have to go out and find a stronger social life. On the other hand not to flirt, anyway you do not want to and you are simply not capable of it.
The goal when one is in full sadness of love is to gradually go up the slope . For this, I recommend to the people that I accompany exercises of neuro linguistic programming, the NLP, in order to delocalize their negative thoughts.
There is also another method taken from NLP which is mental projection. The objective is to visualize the past situation, the current situation and to work on different axes in order to improve one’s way of communicating or acting.
Besides working on your emotions and thoughts, it is imperative to get out and clear your mind. You will have to do activities that you like and if possible do them in a group in order to create competition with other people. When we isolate ourselves our pain increases. Conversely, when we are accompanied by other people, we focus less on our problems.
You should therefore not hesitate to discuss with others, but especially not about your sentimental problems and your emotional distress. On the contrary, you must imperatively leave them aside. The less you think about it, the better off you will be. So forget all the sad sentences and other sad quotes. Now you are going to have to smile. At first it will be complicated for sure, but you have to open up to others. The less you think about your feelings of sadness in love, the more you will be able to make social connections.
Another aspect that is a little more surprising, I must admit after a painful break-up, is not to forget your ex but rather to implement concrete actions to win him / her back. Sometimes, you have to have the feeling of having come to the end of things to erase the regrets. You will discover the techniques to get closer to your ex gradually, to re-seduce him / her, to revive the passion and to get back together in the long term.
It is therefore possible to get better very quickly when you are sad in love and it is up to you to act as quickly as possible in order not to let the gloom prevail. To go further and feel better about yourself after a separation or a loss of love , I will direct you to my training on how to rebuild yourself after a breakup . You will discover the keys to finding a smile and regaining self-confidence. Above all, do not give up, it is by fighting against your disappointment that you will get out of it.