Have you made the decision to walk away and maintain the absence of contact with a narcissistic person? Is this narcissistic manipulator suggesting that you are narcissistic because of your decision to no longer have contact? Are you wondering if there is something true in all this? After all, what is the difference between no contact, silent processing and ghosting?
Losing contact gives the narcissist another opportunity to blame you. Not having contact provides material for their manipulative scheme against you. That’s when he launches a smear campaign of entirely false information and twisted, out-of-context half-truths that eventually find their way to you through your common acquaintances.
The logic of the narcissist is as follows: Silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse used by narcissists. This is solid proof that you are the narcissistic person. Therefore, you are an abusive narcissist. And of course, he’s the poor, long-suffering victim because of you. But this is only a psychological projection of his own personality.
Predictably, and quite intentionally on the part of the narcissist, this triggers your fears, causing you further harm in the spiral of self-doubt and its hold on you. . Even if you are no longer in contact, if you fall into the trap, he still controls and manipulates you.
So what is the difference between your silence and that of the narcissistic pervert?
The victim’s lack of contact
Lack of contact is often the last option for victims of narcissistic abuse who are driven into it as a measure of self-preservation. It is for the victim of the narcissistic pervert to prevent exposure to other abuses to finally begin to heal and regain a life of freedom.
“Silence cleans, purifies, operates a detachment between the essential and the accessory, between the temporal and the imperishable, it allows you to get rid of the illusory and the cumbersome. – Marie
Noncontact involves cutting off all ties and channels of communication with a narcissist who has caused you permanent damage through their abuse. This includes all direct forms of communication with the narcissist. It is also about blocking indirect relationships that come from triangulating the narcissist . The goal is to actively prevent interaction of any kind.
Non-contact is often the last option for victims of toxic abuse who are driven to do so as a measure of self-preservation. It’s about preventing exposure to further abuse to start healing. The decision to no longer have contact seems to be the only choice available, as the victim realizes that the abuse has been continuous, repeated and unchanging for long periods of time, often for years. She just can’t take any more pain. The only thing she can control is to back out of the relationship.
The Narcissist’s Lack of Contact
Silence processing and ghosting are both related to withholding information to exert power and control over you. It is actually a form of emotional and psychological abuse. In their minds, there’s really no need to get their hands dirty with an unnecessarily unpleasant conversation if you’re not bringing them any immediate or future benefit. So what’s the point of maintaining contact with your victim?
“Silence can sometimes be the most cruel of lies. –Robert
The silent treatment of the narcissist
The silent treatment intervenes during the devaluing phase of the emotional abuse cycle to punish you and to strengthen the traumatic bonds. It is also used to communicate your diminishing worth in your ability to meet his selfish needs. The silent treatment can last for hours, days, weeks, months and even years. The time it takes for you to learn your lesson.
Ghosting is a sudden, unexplained strategy used to push you away when the narcissist decides you no longer meet their needs. This often happens when you become aware of the narcissist’s real personality , confront it, and no longer let it have a hold on you.
“The worst sin towards our fellow men is not to hate them, but to treat them with indifference; that is the essence of inhumanity. –George
This approach conveys the following message: “You have no value for me”. As the name suggests, ghosting is an act of disappearance. It is sudden, unexplained, and your existence is effectively erased from theirs.
The Difference Between Your Silence and the Narcissist’s
What is the difference between the silence of the victim and the silence of the narcissistic manipulator? The difference is the intention. One is an act of self-protection and self-preservation and the other an act of punishment and manipulation. One aims to prevent harm, the other to cause it. One is to abuse and the other is to stop it.
Why does the narcissistic pervert do this?
The narcissistic pervert is well aware that refusing to communicate with you has cruel psychological effects. The vacuum created by the absence of information provokes in you delusional and guilt-inducing repercussions, centered on the answer to the frantic question “what did I do wrong”?
This is clearly desirable from the narcissist’s perspective, because by maintaining radio silence, you take responsibility for everything, and so he continues to avoid accountability for his actions and behaviors. These are crush actions designed to prevent any resolution, growth, accountability, or closure of issues.
The guilt is so strong that it is almost impossible to take a step back from the situation. The great characteristic of a narcissistic perverse manipulator is to make his victim doubt and let him believe that the problems come from him.
“The culprit is often the one who defends himself before being accused. –Raymond
These circumstances force not only to conclude that the absence of contact is necessary to survive, but also to understand that there will be no conclusion. In practical terms, this means that for many, when the decision is made, there can be neither a goodbye nor an explanation given to the other party as to why you should do so.
How to no longer suffer the emotional abuse of the narcissistic pervert?
The PNM (Perverse Narcissistic Manipulator) is an individual who takes control of his/her partner to destroy him/her emotionally. Emotional abuse is violence that is not physical and invisible to people. It is psychological violence, a gear that shakes self-confidence and leads to a toxic relationship. This suffering causes a withdrawal into oneself which does not allow one to envisage personal fulfillment. The victim no longer realizes the toxicity of the situation because it has become the norm.
Despite what those who fortunately have not experienced narcissistic abuse may assume, the decision is agonizing and deeply painful. For the simple reason that despite the abuse, for many it means moving away from someone you love. And for the empath or the codependent, it’s unfathomably difficult. The strength and courage required are enormous, and the depth of sadness is that of real grief .