Couple in a field. Woman in a brown shirt. Sunset background.

The 5 commandments to not lose the love of your life

When you have strong feelings for someone you share your life with, it’s obvious that you don’t want the story that binds you to end on a false note. But more than that, even when everything is going well we owe it to ourselves to do everything for the happiness of our other half. This does not mean that we must constantly live in fear that he / she will leave us, but rather that we must do everything to avoid thinking that the other is acquired. It is vital for the couple to constantly make efforts and never to let go, in any case it is essential if you do not want to lose the love of your life. 

When love takes precedence over reason, you have to quickly pull yourself together and come back to the fundamentals of sentimental relationships. If you swear by him / her, you owe it to yourself to do everything to protect your love affair and thus avoid a romantic depression that can leave traces. And if you’ve decided to take action, you’ve come to the right place.

How to control the fear of losing it or losing it? How to live your relationship in the best possible way? What methods should be used to win back the one who is about to leave or for more complex cases who has already left? These are all the questions that I will answer in this article which will guide you on the actions to implement to avoid seeing the person you love walk away.


The fear of losing the person you love more than anything else  can come from different reasons, very often you have negative scenarios in your mind imagining the worst. Often wrongly, sometimes rightly because necessarily everything is not idyllic in love. But it is important not to give in to paranoia and imagine that everything is dark. Even if your relationship is on the verge of breaking up,  there are still things that can bring you closer, especially if there is affection between you and communication is still possible.

But to save your marriage, it is necessary to calmly take stock of your strengths and weaknesses, and above all to reflect on the reasons that lead you today to feel in danger and to tell you I have afraid of losing it or I’m afraid of losing it. If ever this seems difficult or even impossible to you because you do not understand his reactions, I will direct you to an individualized coaching session so that we can discuss the situation and that I point you in the right direction. You have understood that the decoding phase of your darling is the essential step to carry out your action plan. Without reflection, no result so do not skip the steps!

If you are lucky enough to have enough perspective and to be able to carry out this work alone on your side, I invite you to list all the aspects that can explain the reasons why your relationship is up against the wall . To avoid losing your love, it is therefore logical to know why we end up tearing each other up and wanting to break up. This way you will know what to avoid if your goal is to stay in a relationship. At the same time, you will also have to list the actions you want to take in order to change the situation because reflection is certainly good but then it must act.

Thanks to all the experience I have acquired by coaching men and women from all walks of life (whether geographically, socially or according to age), I am able to distinguish the 3 main reasons that cause a person to break up. And to remedy this you will necessarily have to use a specific method.

Why you think ? Quite simply because we tend to make mistakes when we feel in danger , and it is imperative that you avoid that. If your relationship is hanging by a thread, the slightest misstep can land you straight into the wall. To avoid reaching this stage, I direct you to my complete program how to save your couple the ideal method .

To come back to the 3 reasons that lead a couple to be in trouble, they are well known but I still wanted to make a brief reminder!


Behind every story of a couple in difficulty , there is often a problematic of routine. We take the man or woman who shares our life for granted and we do not make the necessary efforts to keep the flame alive. Losing your girlfriend or boyfriend is usually the result of being a little too lax. Race results we push our partner to take some distance and even consider going to the point of breaking up.

I don’t want to overwhelm you if you are in this situation because it comes insidiously, that is, without you realizing it, and when your other half explains to you that their feelings are diminishing, it is already too late. Fortunately, there are actions you can take to rekindle the flame and regain control of the situation. Nothing will be easy but you owe it to yourself to react if you do not want to lose him / her permanently. However, never let fear control your actions.


If the fear of losing him / her and losing his / her family can come from a lack of commitment, it can also and paradoxically come from his / her excess. Let me explain. When we are in the midst of emotional dependence we tend to overdo it. We send lots of messages throughout the day, we put too much pressure, we do not let our partner breathe and he or she decides to go away for a breather.

This fear of losing the other side therefore plays against us because we are doing too much. When you are in a relationship, you need to keep your garden a secret, to have moments with your friends and family and not always to spend all your time together. Not losing the love of your life starts with applying the right rules for happiness as a couple.


There is a third situation which is likely to explain the partner’s desire to break up or in any case the fact that the relationship between the couple is a little less good.

This is the case of infidelity, but not a stolen little kiss, it is truly desired and sustained adultery. Losing the man or losing the woman of his life can also come from sentimental betrayal. Indeed, if the couple was already in danger, having s*x with someone else will not help! Desiring someone else, even if it’s just for s*x, is endangering your romantic relationship, even if there was no tension in the relationship before.


Once you have discovered the 3 main reasons that can lead to a breakup,  you have to fight as best as possible to save your relationship. There are two rules to follow in order not to lose the love of your life.


The first of these rules is the proper use of communication and the art of repartee. Having feelings for someone is good, but knowing how to show them and express them is better! Indeed, you should not only be content to say I love you or give compliments, but you must also be able to broach different subjects in order to recreate a strong bond.

When something is wrong in the relationship, and this is quite normal because in all stories there are ups and downs , you should not withdraw and wait for everything to be resolved automatically. You shouldn’t be afraid to express yourself. It is often through dialogue that we resolve any problems that may exist.

On the other hand, we must realize that communication is sometimes to be avoided when the tensions are too high and there is a fed up. As I explain in my book 35 rules to save your marriage, there comes a time when the fact of dialogue proves ineffective because the other is no longer receptive or receptive. From that moment on, you have to change your mind and focus on something else altogether.


Fighting against the harmful phenomenon of routine is an imperative that must absolutely be taken into account. The fear of boring love should push you to react and take strong action to relaunch your relationship in a solid way.

Whether it is physical, outings, moments for two, it is important to bring change or renewal. The fact of always being in the same cycle, of constantly doing the same things, can lead to a break-up. Not after 5 or 6 months, but in the long run it is clearly harmful . Moreover, it is you who can make this decision to act and you will have to start the machine so that your other half gets in tune because you have to be 2 not to lose the love of your life and it is to two that one must fight the frustration of the habits in the couple .


I am aware that for some of my readers who are reading this article it is already too late. They think they will lose a love forever , but they are not. Wanting to continue with someone and not wanting to stop there, right after a painful breakup , is completely understandable. A person who is afraid, who is in doubt and who lacks confidence will not succeed in winning back.

From now on, we must no longer say to ourselves I’m afraid of losing it but accept the separation in order to bounce back and put in place the most appropriate techniques. Obviously your ex is telling you that she or he is afraid to re-engage in a relationship with you. This is why recovering a love must be done subtly if we want to succeed. This feeling of fear is legitimate, but controlling it will be essential in moving forward.

This is also one of the first steps to  relaunch feelings  and I call it personal reconstruction. We must no longer think about the fear of losing the other because the breakup has already happened there, but about the reasons for the latter and for that to take distance both emotionally but also physically. It is in particular by identifying the problems that we will find appropriate solutions.

Not easy to do when you still have feelings, when you consider him to be the love of his life. But fortunately there are powerful techniques that can be applied depending on your situation so that he / she is no longer afraid to commit to your side and that his / her only wish is to rebuild with you a more stable history and in which happiness will be at the rendezvous. It is to get to this stage as quickly as possible that personalized coaching turns out to be a real plus, by providing you with the essential support in order to get you back on track but above all so that you apply the appropriate actions.