The Emotional Stages of Separation


A good day, a bad day, or even from laughter to tears!

Basically,  the emotional elevator  is when you go very quickly from a positive emotion (project, joy, hope, laughter, well-being) to a negative emotion (disappointment, fear, sadness, distress, anger, spirit of revenge…).

Do you recognize yourself?

I assure you it is completely normal in the situation you are experiencing!

This inner shift can be triggered by a memory, an object, or a person, and can happen any minute (and no, it’s not because of your period!).

Your needs and your values ​​are not satisfied during this period, the fear of the unknown, a certain insecurity (material and emotional) also cause your emotions to vary.

Things are not clear for you, which brings you to emotions that vary from moment to moment or from day to day.

Your ideas and your desires are constantly changing, it’s normal.

It’s part of the process of grieving your old life, moving on to the new.

Like a teenager entering adulthood!

It reminds me of the teenager who goes from childhood to adulthood. He finds it difficult to leave what he knows and at the same time project himself into the life of a future adult.

So he tries new perspectives, then he is afraid and returns to what he knows (one step forward, one step back) to finally accept one day to live his new life.

His parental nest belongs to him less and less, he faces his fears, leaves his comfort zone and immerses himself in his adult life, sometimes slowly, sometimes doing the splits.

I recommend that you watch the film  “Tangui 1”  and draw a parallel between his (unconscious) fears and yours, the love he knows from his parents with the one he will know.

How he leaves with his anxieties to come back and then how he takes the plunge!

With a little imagination, I’m betting you’ll recognize yourself! (okay his parents are benevolent, maybe nothing to do with your ex, but…).

small scene of life

Here is a day like any other after separation. You feel sad, angry, maybe even desperate. You feel that you need, want to get out of it.

But how ? You are looking on the internet for a solution to your distress.

Then finally you decide to make an appointment with a professional… it’s important to feel supported in these moments. A neutral person and certainly more objective than your best friend or your family. You can’t blame them they love you, they protect you.

The day of the appointment arrives and you chat with a friend who gives you a good idea for your future, or who shows you all the advantages of your new freedom.

Better, you meet a man while going to meet your friend and you feel that he is not insensitive to your charm…

Thanks to this type of event, you feel joy and ambition reborn in you, sometimes like a spark that lights up, sometimes like a big bonfire. That’s it, you think you’re finally free of your sadness, your anger…

“Wow! I’m better”

The day passes and your appointment with your shrink or your coach arrives.

“Why go to this session, I don’t need it anymore, I’m fine!

You cancel your session and life is good .

The little nothing at all, the not much that makes you rock

You come home and… a photo, an object, music, loneliness, an email reminds you of your situation and presto 💥 you switch to nostalgia, fear, anger, tears…

And of course you regret not having taken your appointment or worse you feel guilty and again:  emotional lift.  Your feelings and emotions wear you down. Sometimes you even feel like you’re going crazy.

The cause  : the fluctuation of your emotions and no, it’s still not your period.

Understand that this is normal and can last for a while.

So the next time you feel beautiful, joyful, full of plans and ambition for your beautiful future, remember that during your reconstruction you will still experience positive emotions…and negative ones.

Rest assured, over time you will go from 2 bad days and one good day, to 3 good days including 2 average hours. Accept that it takes some time for your body and your heart to adjust to its new life.

Your coach, your shrink knows this  emotional lift well.  To accompany you towards your well-being, he receives you on rainy days and also on sunny days.

May each day serve to embellish and improve your new life. Also remember that it is when you are going for the best, that your coach or your shrink also has a wonderful action.

Do you want to improve your emotional state?