In human relationships, what carries us is the light of the gaze that we perceive in the other, their sparkling eyes which light up to welcome us, their visible joy which smiles at our sight. Much more than words, this is what makes us want to interact, to forge links, to share real exchanges. Do not we say that the look is the door to the soul!
A dead look is a coldness that restricts us, that slows us down, that blocks us from the start, like a closed door that makes us retreat internally. This gives us no desire to take the plunge, or else we naturally distance ourselves from the other. The exchange is then devoid of heat and quickly becomes disembodied, disconnected, empty and futile.
It is through the eyes of the other that we feel either understood and appreciated, or judged and despised. It is a non-verbal communication that can do a lot of harm if it is given too much importance. Often, the memory of a “bad look” revives wounds of devaluation that we thought were healed. And this fear of judgement, which often goes back to childhood, becomes the worst poison that harms human relationships and any action. Let’s be aware!
How to accept the gaze of the other without suffering?
The more we learn to develop our inner peace in a quality of presence to ourselves and at the moment, the more we change our relationship with ourselves, with others and with the World. We put each link in its place through another way of existing that is safer, more confident, more peaceful. A sense of self that radiates around us in a luminous way. Self-acceptance is our greatest inner serenity. If we accept ourselves as we are, everything becomes easier. No look can destabilize us. Thus, the other can no longer harm us with his gaze because we no longer give him our authorization or our validation.
It is therefore important when one commits to rubbing shoulders with the other, to learn to see him with the eyes of the heart, without any judgment and without any expectation, just in a spontaneous momentum. The relationship then opens in a beautiful warm reciprocity, nourished by benevolent attention to the other. As if he in turn became the mirror of this life-creating movement. We are beings of relationship, and it is only in the sweetness of our intentions that bonds are created…
Our eyes speak for us, let them tell beautiful stories, of love, benevolence, tolerance, acceptance… Let’s be gentle inside with others! Let’s make our eyes smile more often to heal the wounds of those who suffer!