What is the deeper meaning of the word “benevolence”?
It is important to understand the meaning of this word because today it is unfortunately increasingly used in an overused use, that is to say in its most reduced meaning which empties it of its own meaning.
If the dictionary of everyday language defines benevolence as “a favorable disposition towards a person, that is to say an ability to be indulgent, kind and attentive towards others in a disinterested and understanding way. The current use of it boils down to a vague idea of condescending and tolerant kindness.
Yet benevolence is above all not condescension, nor is it a concept of false friendliness or “pseudo sympathy”. We do not pretend to be benevolent, that is to say we do not behave with a facade of hypocrisy by calling it benevolence. This word must regain its full value!
Benevolence is above all the quality of a will that aims for the good and the happiness of others in an unconditional way.
There is no benevolence, without respect for the other whether in his individuality or in his singularity , and without indulgence , that is to say in this facility to excuse and forgive without experiencing resentment.
Benevolence, therefore, is not feigning a form of compassion but rather feeling it fully in order to act with a positive intention towards the other.
To be benevolent means: “to respect others for what they are and as they are. », it’s not just a kindness that we show when it suits us, but a whole attitude that accompanies this notion of benevolence by accepting the other as he is without trying to change him!
This word is therefore imperatively linked to the feeling of total freedom that we will leave to the other in his right to exist as he is, with what he is to freely experience his life, without this not neither forced nor calculated nor reproached.
Malevolence, which is therefore the opposite of benevolence, is associated with an idea of hostile behavior, that is to say as a manipulation which consists in making the other believe that one loves him, whereas as soon as he has his back turned, we criticize him and question his way of being because it seems that it does not correspond to our principles, our expectations or our models. Malevolence is destructive!
Benevolence is therefore not a model to follow in one’s head, it is a human skill to be acquired in order to succeed in developing healthier and more serene relationships with others.
Love and benevolence are twin and inseparable sisters
There is no love without kindness. Benevolent love is the fact of understanding the other without limit, that is to say without wanting to judge him and whatever his actions! It is not transforming him at all costs by locking him up in the cage of your requirements.
Love is an evolutionary process that molds itself over time through experiences and compromises. Loving is not looking for an idyllic and idealized relationship according to standards imposed by society because it is only in fiction that these conventional standards in love exist.
In real life, love consists of a real momentum that pushes us towards each other in an uncontrollable alchemy. It is accompanied by a time when we get used to the other, when we get to know him, when we discover him in his depth through his tastes and his actions. Either, this love gains in consistency, or it dies out because it is insufficiently nourished by feelings of tenderness, understanding and possible evolution.
Either way, love is benevolent. When we love we wish only good for the other without jealousy or envy. It is not a simple compensation for your dissatisfaction, your shortcomings. He’s not just there to fill a void. To conceive of one’s love for the other as a “spare wheel of your life” is to force oneself to feel feelings and it is to build a relationship on bad foundations.
When your heart comes alive with a sincere, gentle and warm benevolence for the other, you know that you love him enough to allow him to receive your love without having any expectations.
It is therefore essential to know and understand yourself well before wanting to love and understand the other. To love the other in the opening of his heart and his soul is a true gift of self.
When we understand the suffering of the other, we practice benevolent love, we become for the other a necessary and comforting support. This comfort circulates like an abundant flow of heat that floods the relationship in a reciprocity that is communicated beyond everything, distance, words, situations. We experience this benevolent love to the very depths of ourselves.
We don’t need to speak when we love, souls wed in silence.
Love is a deep feeling of affection and tenderness that we feel for someone else in an irrepressible impulse. We must stop idealizing love according to fashionable concepts but start to really live the depth of this feeling which is not to tend towards perfection but rather to allow the expression of this communion with the other to take shape according to the plural ways of loving one another.
When love nourishes every part of our being, we vibrate with a beautiful energy of joy that radiates and diffuses in the presence of oneself to the other.
Benevolent love is when we bring something positive and beneficial to the other in an active attitude and with daily efforts. This movement is endless and limitless. It grows and flourishes when you know how to feed it!
“There is no love without benevolence, to be aware of it is to suffer less and to open up more to what the real pleasure of loving is, it is not a confinement or an indoctrination. It’s just the dance of two hearts connected to the same unity…”