It’s hard to end a relationship when the feelings are still there and you still love your partner. However, certain vagaries of life mean that you are sometimes obliged to no longer share your life with the one who makes your heart beat.
For many it is totally incomprehensible because you imagine that love is stronger than anything but unfortunately you should know that this is not always the case.
Breaking up for love is not so trivial and so rare. But how can we explain the fact that we end up having to separate without necessarily being explained by relationship problems as in most of the other stories? Today’s topic is dedicated to this theme and you will also discover the story of one of my coaches who experienced this trauma.
Breaking up for love, what is it concretely?
We often have this image of American comedies in which the hero decides to break up with the woman he loves just so as not to prevent her from living his dreams. Although to many this may seem like a “cliche,” breaking up for love is not entirely a Hollywood scriptwriter’s invention, and many people do so.
Since I advise men and women in their love life I have seen that dozens, maybe even hundreds of stories that unfortunately ended in this way. There are strong feelings, but in life the only way out is separation.
Acting in this way can thus be a solution to rebuild the couple. You take some distance, you take stock of your expectations but also your needs, before giving your story a second chance. In other situations separation is akin to true liberation. When there have been many infidelities, when there is domestic violence, when the children and their development are the victims of your couple’s problems.
But parting is not just for these reasons. Indeed, in the case which interests us in this article, the separation does not happen because of disagreements, bad gestures but quite simply because one of the two partners thinks about the happiness of the other and realizes that ‘he / she can be happier without him or her by his / her side.
Why break up this way
I had the chance to accompany a man, 3 years ago, with whom I remained in contact and who precisely inspired me this article because he made me a reflection a few days ago by telling me that I had to broach this subject since a lot of people can go through it.
Although he allowed me to tell his story I prefer, all the same not to go into details, but simply to illustrate my words through his experience, in which you can also recognize yourself.
Marc * had been in a long-distance relationship for 3 years with his girlfriend. If the first months the situation was bearable, that they nevertheless managed to consolidate their relationship. With time, the problems multiplied, their respective missions were prolonged and the prospects of finally living together diminished.
Marc, in love, felt that the situation was no longer livable for his girlfriend, that he could not make her happy, so he decided to end the relationship so that she was no longer unhappy and that she could meet someone who lived near her.
Distance is typically one of the main reasons for breaking up for love . But it is not the only one. Sometimes, to prevent his partner, his partner from suffering, we can make the decision to separate. When tensions between families become difficult to live with, for example, to prevent them from tearing themselves apart, you can make a difficult decision.
This is also the case for hidden relationships, to put it simply, if you are the lover or the mistress. In this type of relationship, the one you love may have to think about the outcome of your story to save their family and in particular to stay with their children, even if the relationship with their husband or wife is appalling.
Can we come back after this breakup
When you break up for love, it goes without saying that the feelings do not go away overnight, sometimes they never really go away, the flame does not go out because you or your ex partner continue to love each other. What often happens in this situation is the appearance of regrets.
Indeed, the feelings do not disappear and can even be reinforced, a return is possible. You made a decision that you thought you could either embrace or overcome, but you haven’t. You feel a terrible lack, you can no longer move forward without him / her by your side. It is important to act because sometimes the other feels the same and waits for you to take the first step.
It is therefore a reconquest of love that must be put in place but you must nevertheless ask yourself a fundamental question: is it really a good idea?
Think about it for a few moments! You parted ways out of love, for good reason a few weeks, if not a few months ago. Therefore, if the feelings have never ceased to exist, are you not afraid that the situation will always be the same and that you will not be able to fully develop in your relationship? If nothing has changed is a return to be considered?
The answer is yes ! Do not remain in distress if you have the opportunity to get out of it. You don’t have to live with regrets, especially if you have the opportunity to make a difference.
I am going to come back to the story of Marc, who just went through this moment of doubts. He could have gone to see the woman who loved him and win her back during these weeks of vacation but he would not have been able to move or to fight against the estrangement which would therefore continue.
So what did he do? He did not give himself a second chance, because he knew that their couple would experience the same problems. He decided to rebuild himself, with my help, to overcome the breakup.
Why am I explaining this to you?
Quite simply so that you don’t let emotions take over your mind. If you have a real possibility of making things change, then go for it and start a romantic reconquest but if you know deep down that nothing will change, it is sometimes better not to persist and to rebuild yourself.