The manipulator, the manipulator and the narcissistic pervert are not looking for just anyone. And above all, he doesn’t want someone weak, far from it! On the contrary, they like to enslave people who represent a challenge, a “challenge”. They will therefore target prey that interest them and will very quickly identify the flaws that they can easily exploit.
You have something the narcissistic pervert wants: a network of friends, notoriety, a pension fund, apartment blocks, an RRSP, a house, clothes, a life, a good job, a salary, energy to spare, etc. In short, the narcissistic pervert wants to take what is yours. When I meet clients who have been victims of a manipulator , generally, on the love level, certain constants come back:
- The narcissistic pervert came to live with his victim very quickly.
- The narcissistic pervert expects the other to pay for many things or induce his victim to quit his job to support him and thus make him financially dependent.
- The narcissistic pervert is admired by some people around the victim.
- The narcissistic pervert has, in fact, few real friends.
- The narcissistic pervert generally has relational difficulties in his family.
Very often, my clients admit to me having advanced money to the narcissistic pervert, giving him a salary, buying him clothes, paying his fines. The narcissistic pervert hints to his victim that he is going to reimburse her, but he never does so completely. And, of course, he’s going to imply that it’s the victim’s fault if he didn’t give him his money…
Your unmet need
We all have unfulfilled dreams, unachieved goals, suspended projects, unmet needs. The narcissistic pervert loves this! Because he thus has a gateway to your mind. Have you always dreamed of a beautiful wedding without daring to tell anyone? The narcissistic pervert will make you dangle a ceremony worthy of a fairy tale. Do you hope to succeed in business? He will make you believe that he has faith in you, in your potential and that he will be there for you in difficult times. In short, he will give you the impression that he is the ideal partner to meet this unmet need that is close to your heart.
And the most pernicious part of all this is that you will not always be aware of this need! Many of my clients thought singlehood didn’t affect them before they met the narcissistic pervert, but when I got them talking about their teenage dreams, romantic relationship was part of the much-desired ideal.
What to do?
So what should be done in order not to attract a narcissistic pervert? Hide deep in the woods? Less attract attention? Less successful? To be less than one’s own potential? Actually no! It’s the opposite! Invest in yourself! Grow, thrAive! Work on you! Take the time to identify your injuries, defense mechanisms and patterns and work through them with a professional. Set goals and achieve them. Reprogram your activating reticular system. This area of your brain brings to your consciousness the information of your environment according to what is programmed in your unconscious, therefore according to your blockages, your feeling of impostor, your fears, your tendency to self -sabotage. Become the best version of yourself. It is by really knowing oneself,