Would you like to understand why women who are “boring” are popular and are rarely single? What qualities do men look for in a woman to build a love story ? Why do you tend to run into men who call you “too nice”?.
I was interested in the phenomenon long before receiving Sophie’s message because it is a problem that I frequently encountered in coaching. Many women who present all the qualities to be happy in Love wondered why the men they met preferred to leave, specifying that the relationship was too “simple”. Rather absurd as a decision, no?
So I looked into the question and you will discover in this article my avenues for reflection.
Men don’t know their own needs!
To explain this paragraph to you, I will tell you from personal experience. A few years ago a friend asked me what kind of cuisine I like and I answered without hesitation that I was a huge fan of sushi. He asked me if I had ever eaten at the Indian restaurant and I did not remember having done so he wanted to introduce me to this food. The observation was simple, I had never eaten such a delicious dish!
What is the relationship between love and my culinary tastes? No a priori! But by digging a little you will better understand …
There is one essential aspect that I wanted to highlight: a human being never knows his own needs because they are constantly evolving according to his own experiences. So, you just have to generalize this process to your life: nobody ever knows exactly what they want because a new romance is synonymous with a new experience.
For example, a man will say that he is looking for a gentle, smiling, kind woman… But when he finds her, he will leave her because he will find that the relationship is too dull and not exciting enough. Have you never known a friend to make such a decision?
Our daily life is governed around the notions of “+” and “-” as for a battery, and for a couple to survive by bringing a set of happiness to a man, there must also be conflicts that fuel that relationship and bring out the positive. This is not a diagram that applies to 100% of males but the majority, men like pissers are attracted by this duality between well-being and small conflicts.
All this brings me to the conclusion that men above all need to idealize the woman who accompanies them on a daily basis and that they will therefore be attracted by the challenge that a boring woman will offer them. This is why you will see that some decide to break up with you to go with a girl who is the opposite of you and especially who will not bring her a quarter of the happiness that you could give her …
Men need to have a frame
In my experience, I have often wondered why some people, whether male or female, stay in a relationship where their partner shows them little affection, but instead is constantly on their backs blaming them. and fits of jealousy .
Some men prefer boring because subconsciously they enjoy being at the center of that person’s life. If you are too lax with a man, he may assume that you are not paying him any attention and he will run away later.
A nagging woman therefore tends to have wild success, especially on the psychological and unconscious aspect of a man. I have often heard testimonials from couples who had a rather turbulent relationship made up of ups and downs. Sometimes the tensions even went to extremes but above all because it was a way for them to fully live their love!
Ultimately, many men who appear confident and at ease in seduction actually suffer from real devaluation and go looking for a woman who is able to give them maximum attention. This is in order to feel a form of security even if this attitude leads daily or almost to arguments and crises.
Men prefer boring because the simplicity is bland!
During my numerous coaching meetings, whether with women or men, I accompanied people who found themselves in various situations. By taking a close interest in emotional dependence , crises of jealousy, lack of communication and all the problems related to love … I realized that human beings had a kind of “fascination” for them. complicated situations. I will take as a better example a reflection of Alain 46, his sentence marked me:
“What is too simple is not interesting. When I know that the woman is acquired I get tired easily whereas when she pushes me away, that she is jealous or that she shows me her character I must try to impose myself and that’s what I like ” . In this case, it is clear that some men appreciate the boring!
We can consider that the human being, and maybe even more the male s*x, is attracted by the challenge and that a boring woman is never acquired unlike a gentle woman and above all a little too disciplined.
I would like to point out that this article and especially the last paragraph comes from my coaching analyzes and in no way concerns my personal opinion since I like simple and natural relationships (laughs) but sometimes human nature is more complex than might think so!
I will simply repeat a sentence that I often say in coaching:
“A man tends to run away when a woman is more in love than him!” ”
I know, it’s absurd, but it’s the reality!